Imagine you're walking down the street, and for some unknown reason, you actually lift your head from being buried in your phone. As you focus, you catch a glimpse of what you think is the most beautiful human being you've ever encountered, walking in the opposite direction.
Your eyes lock for what seems an eternity. Her smile renders you speechless. Judging by her clothes, she has an impeccable sense of style. Before walking away, you notice one more accessory attached to her hand. It's the hand of another human being, a smaller one: her kid.
At this point, you're probably wondering if you should, at the very least, go talk to her. I, for one, definitely would. Of course, anything is open to interpretation and relative to an individual, but I'd like to explain my thought process in a situation as unique as this one.
Let's get down to the most basic reason why anyone invests in a relationship: love. Apart from that, ask yourself this question: Will you risk potential long-term happiness because of a child? Essentially, what you are doing is holding a child against someone.
This mindset is a bit shortsighted and might actually cost you greatly. If you look for excuses, I guarantee you'll come across a million reasons not to do something. But, a kid shouldn't be one of them. Imagine how that child would feel if he or she discovered him or herself to be the reason why Mom or Dad isn't happy.
Pretend you went ahead and flagged that person down on the sidewalk. One thing led to another and you hit it off. You've been dating for three months now, and the kid has taken a liking to you. You've won him or her over, and it shows. You're glad you did.
None of us are getting any younger and the odds of you meeting someone without children are shrinking daily. Generally, be aware that you will run into people with prior dating history, such as divorces and, yes, kids. I've had the pleasure of dating two women who were both mothers to little boys.
At first, I was hesitant, but as I gave myself the chance to be appreciated, the gratification was unlike any other. Their boys wanted to climb on my back and horse around and always asked for me when I was away. It's one of the best feelings in the world to know you're a role model in someone else's eyes.
A person who realizes you're willing to look past his or her fatherhood or motherhood will take you 10 times more seriously because you're demonstrating commitment to the fullest.
If you're not yet a parent, helping with your partner's kid is good practice! Consider it to be your audition. One should appreciate the reality that someone else is allowing you to be part of not only his or her life, but also his or her child's life.
If you're thinking of becoming a parent, this is an ideal scenario. If the person believes you'd make a good parent, he or she will be more inclined to consider bringing another life into the world with you in the event that you want to do so. Conversely, if you don't want kids, then you've just hit the jackpot by falling in love with someone who already has them.
Single parents tend to me excellent time managers, as well. Considering the fact that most of their lives revolve around their kids, they truly know the value of their time and have mastered the art of scheduling.
If a single parent sees something truly special in you, he or she will make time and fit you in without hesitation, even more so if you show you're both into him or her and the child.
Granted, you will probably never come first in this type of relationship, but if what you want from your partner is given to you unconditionally, then why should it matter? You're happy. Your partner is happy. Everyone is happy.
Moreover, he or she already has the experience of what works and what doesn't when it comes to having a serious relationship. I'm not saying you need to live under the same roof or be married to someone for your relationship to be serious, but someone who has a child surely has a lot of knowledge in that department.
You'd be on the receiving end of those benefits and guess what? It's a win/win situation for all parties involved.
If you're not a fan of playing games, look no further. Single parents don't have time to waste on drama and might be some of the most mature people you ever meet.
When it comes to the actual relationship, it's most definitely a black-and-white affair. You will either give things with that person a fair shot or you will not be taken seriously. There's no middle ground, no gray area.
Additionally, selflessness is something parents are used to; it comes naturally now. You might always have to play second fiddle to the child, but that's no reason to give up and quit. From the moment this person decides to become a parent, he or she has been acquiring an instinct to put others first. What makes you think he or she wouldn't do it for you?
I know you might be skeptical about courting a man or woman who happens to be a little ahead of you in life. That's fine; it's normal, but it shouldn't be a reason for you to stop. Second guess yourself all you want, but if I were you, I'd give it a shot.
You could be missing out on the love of your life.