Are you dying to know what a couple's relationship is really like? Elite Daily's series, ILYSM, celebrates couples who met on dating apps and dives into the inner workings of their relationships. How did they know they were falling for each other? Who sent the first awkward message? What's the one thing they fight about? Are they astrologically compatible, and do they care? By the end of each story, you'll love them both so much.
Kelly Goldberg was on a boring FaceTime date with someone else when Jamie Bierman, the woman she had met on the dating app Lox Club that very morning, suggested they get together. Kelly ditched the FaceTime date, Jamie came over that evening, and the rest is (rom-com-worthy) history.
Lox Club is like the Jewish version of Raya, except the vibe has a very distinct sense of humor. (Founder Austin Kevitch describes it as a “private, membership-based dating app for Jews with ridiculously high standards.”) Jamie, who’s an executive assistant at a film studio and is originally from Montville, New Jersey, was new to dating apps. Kelly, who grew up in Antwerp, Belgium and is the founder of indie record label Antler Records, was used to meeting people online — but had never found anyone like Jamie. They bonded over their shared values — family, communication, and a desire to foster as many dogs as possible — and soon, they were in love.
Here’s their story.
Family, laughter, good food, even better company.
Music lover, motorcycle rider, foreigner, ADHD, wine enthusiast.
Which app did you meet on?
Jamie Bierman: Lox Club.
How long have you known each other?
Kelly Goldberg: Six months.
How long have you been dating?
JB: Six months.
Do you live together? Are you engaged? Do you have a pet you share? Any other relationship markers?
KG: Jamie’s Peloton was moved in at three months and then she fully moved in shortly after. We’ve met each other’s parents. I already had a dog, Baloo, whom she fell in love with, and we’re also currently fostering another dog together.
JB: Kelly's dog has grown to love me the most.
What initially attracted you to each other’s profiles?
KG: Her “nice Jewish girl” look. I grew up in a very small Jewish community in Antwerp, Belgium. When I left at 18 years old, I kind of wanted to start my new world, but obviously, all the Jewish holidays and doing Shabbat [a sabbath dinner] with a friend still remain very important to me. Seeing all of Jamie’s photos with her family, I knew she would be a good person to bring to Shabbat.
JB: Kelly's first profile photo on Lox Club was of her and [sex therapist and media personality] Dr. Ruth Westheimer, whom I absolutely love.
Who sent the first message, and what was it?
KG: She did. I had a photo with Dr. Ruth at a gala on my profile, and Jamie said, “The Dr. Ruth photo is unbelievable.”
How long did you exchange messages or texts before your first date?
KG: We matched that morning at around 9:00 a.m. and met up that night.
JB: I remember I was on my couch in pajamas and I got on Lox Club. When I said yes to Kelly, we automatically matched. I sent the first message, and after probably 10 or 12 little messages, she said, “Let’s move it to text.” I jumped out of my skin.
What was your first date like?
KG: I actually had a FaceTime date with someone else that night, and I had plans for a Shabbat dinner after that. But I could see the date wasn’t going to go anywhere — we just didn’t click. And while I was on the FaceTime date, Jamie texted me. I told her my Shabbat dinner got canceled, and I usually go every week, so I was a bit upset. And she was like, “Hey, Hashem [God] wouldn’t want you to be alone on Shabbat.” I told my other date, “Listen, I’m going to go.” Jamie came over and we were both anxious and excited. She “forgot her jacket” that night and forced us to have to see each other the next day. She knew what she was doing.
Describe the DTR conversation.
JB: The first or second week we were dating, I sent a long-winded text that I thought went to my mom. It was all about how I really liked Kelly, how sweet and generous she is with her time, and how I knew [the connection] felt right. But it actually went to Kelly. She replied, “So, does that mean you like her?” At that point, I still thought I was talking to my mom, and then I realized it was Kelly, and I was freaking out.
KG: Oh, I'm definitely going to frame that text.
JG: The way she didn’t make a big deal out of it was really reassuring to me. She asked me to be her girlfriend shortly thereafter.
KG: I got her a cake from Milk Bar that said, "Will you be my girlfriend?"
JB: Not only was it emotional, it was also quite embarrassing, because Kelly basically said, “Let’s eat dessert before dinner.” And I was like, “That’s so weird.” And then she pulled out my favorite kind of cake and was like, “Look at the cake.” I’m so awkward, I totally thought it was some joke she was playing on me.
Who said “I love you” first?
KG: She did. Right after I asked her to be my girlfriend.
JB: I was in such an overflow of emotions. I was like, “Oh my God, I love it.” And then I just had to say it. It came out of my mouth and I didn’t even notice. The second I felt it, I let her know… and then she didn’t say it back, and she was smiling in my face, and I wanted to run into a glass wall. It was terrible.
If you're Instagram official, what was your first photo together?
Describe the moment you first realized you were falling for them.
JB: We took a trip to Palm Springs and I never wanted to leave. Growing up, my dad would always say you need to find someone you’re not only in love with, but someone who would be a really good teammate who’s ready to be a team player in life and go work it all out together. I’d never experienced that. And from the moment we left home, Kelly had packing anxiety, there was a hotel debacle, and through the whole thing, we just laughed and made the best of it. It was like no one else in the world existed. I didn’t want to come home because it was like we escaped to this dreamy place where everything good happens — but then we got home and it continued to be that way.
KG: For me, it was after I met her mother when she came to visit. Her mom is my favorite. They have a very special connection, and that’s something I always find so beautiful — when you’re close to your family. She’s kind of already become like a second mother to me. When I have things going on, I’ll just call her up and she’ll walk me through things. So, it’s that feeling of, well, this is an amazing family. I want to belong to that. I can see myself being in that family. I believe it was the day after her mother left that I said “I love you” to Jamie.
What was your first fight about?
JB: I think it was about Kelly hating ketchup.
KG: We've never had a true fight, but Jamie was a bit petty about me still being friends with my exes (which is a very common lesbian thing).
What's your favorite underrated thing about each other?
JB: Kelly's musical talents, or the fact that she has enough back-stock of every household product in our garage.
KG: Her humor. She’s my personal standup comedian.
What was the last thing you texted about?
JB: Our foster dog Nova going potty.
KG: “She pooped on the carpet again.”
How often do you text throughout the day?
JB: I don't text her as often as I send her IG posts of adoptable puppies.
Do you know if you are astrologically compatible? Do you care?
KG: According to Co-Star, we are not astrologically compatible. We’re fighting the odds. It says our intellect and communication aren’t good together, but we’ve proved that’s one of the things we’re best at.
JB: The first thing Kelly looked up was our Co-Star compatibility. I couldn’t care less.
Which TV show do you marathon together?
JB: Shark Tank, Love Island, the morning news.
What was your favorite date you’ve ever been on?
KG: I surprised her with a beach picnic where we had a whole cabana, a tent, poufs, charcuterie, and wine. (I’m a hopeless romantic.) We brought the game We’re Not Really Strangers. It opened up a lot of vulnerability and honesty about our personal lives, and so it was a really beautiful way to get to know each other better.
JB: Every time we go to the dog park. Sometimes, when I come home from work, the first thing we get to do together before dinner is wind down and go to the dog park. It’s the most warm feeling in the whole entire world to walk in the park and have our little wolf pack. And it's also a good feeling of community because we know a lot of other dogs and the other people at the park.
What's one word to describe your sex life?
Why do you think your relationship works?
JB: We have great communication. We had this one weird [thing] in the beginning of our relationship when I became really uncomfortable with Kelly messaging her exes or being friends with them, and had I kept my mouth shut, I probably would have continued being uncomfortable. But I said something immediately and that opened up a conversation about it. We’re good at putting things to bed before they become anything, so there’s never really anything major to fight about.
KG: Yeah, what I found with Jamie is that if something comes up that we don’t like or appreciate, we immediately communicate that.
What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned from each other?
JB: Love should never be complicated. In the past, I was in an on-and-off relationship, and I think that sometimes, you can become addicted to chaos or instability in a relationship. It was almost like I was being fed crumbs and waiting for the whole cake to show up. And for years, I kept eating the crumbs and thought that maybe I didn’t deserve the whole cake. I always made excuses for people and gave into playing games and all of that bullsh*t. And then I met Kelly and it was honestly shocking how little [drama] I saw. Previously, I always felt like I was alone in my relationship, but now, I think it’s really special to know that someone has your back 24/7.
KG: [I’ve learned about] communicating and prioritizing each other. You think you would know if the other person in the relationship needs or wants something, but you don’t know until you communicate your needs and wants. We’ve been doing that from day one. She likes to do certain things, I like to do certain things, but we’ve found a way for it to work for both of us.
What’s your best piece of advice for people on dating apps?
KG: Be patient. Go on dates until you meet someone you truly connect with. I've been on many dates and in LA, especially if you're a girl looking for another girl, it's not that easy. That's why it has to be online dating most of the time, because you can’t just go to a restaurant and guess if someone would be into you. In the past, I met great people, but it wasn’t this easy feeling of home that I found with Jamie.
JB: Trust the process. I mean, this is crazy, but Kelly was my first-ever app date. I was always set up by friends and I preferred it to be that way. But then I got on Lox Club because two of my best friends were on it and they told me, you’ve got to do it. I was really open, but I wasn’t excited by people I was chatting with. I almost gave up tons of times, but I kept going. I never let myself think that there was any timeline for this; I told myself that if you manifest love and you make room for it, it will come to you. And it really did. I never thought it would show up, and it finally did. Maybe that’s how this got to be so perfect.