7 Reasons You Can Trust An Introvert To Be In It For The Long Haul

by Jarone Ashkenazi

Introverts are perceived as shy, and sometimes, they are deemed antisocial.

Not ideal dating material, right? Well, not necessarily.

They have a strong ability to concentrate on their own feelings.

They may not succeed in large groups, but in one-on-one situations such as dating, they actually shine.

Here are seven reasons why introverts actually win at dating:

1. They are thoughtful.

Introverts are “inherently thoughtful, empathetic and aware,” says Sarah Jones, founder of Introverted Alpha.

Thoughtfulness leads introverts to become great listeners and conversationalists. They pay attention, analyze and ask questions.

They are introspective and genuine about sharing their thoughts and opinions in a respectful way.

2. They are trustworthy.

By being empathetic, they are also trustworthy.

They “process feelings, not only their own, but others' as well, in an earnest and thorough way,” says Jones.

Because of this, they are more understanding and really understand their dates' feelings.

Being aware makes introverts synced up with their dates. Being aware means they are not distracted.

They are focused on you.

3. They have a relaxed confidence.

As long as they are relaxed and confident in a situation, introverts have a casual confidence.

They know they are there to explore a potential match.

Introverts are able to focus on the moment. They realize a date is an intimate, one-on-one conversation.

They don’t need to put on a show to try to “impress each other like extroverts do,” says Louie Felix, CEO of Matchmaking VIP.

4. They are reserved.

Introverts are also more reserved.

They are not loud or demanding.

They allow their partners to take center stage, which is a relationship dynamic that works well for many couples.

“When both people need a piece of the attention pie, there can be fighting, jealousy and needs unmet,” says April Masini, relationship expert and author behind

By being more reserved, they are more likely to be pursued than be the pursuer.

Furthermore, while dating an introvert, “you can trust that you’ll be the only one that is sparking [his or her] interest during your relationship together,” says Sherri Murphy, CEO and founder of Elite Connections.

5. They are detail-oriented.

Introverts are more detail-oriented, and they win at dating because they pay attention to the little things in conversation.

They are able to comment on these little things in a kind way.

If you were on a second date and mentioned to your date you needed a specific book from the library, most people would forget that little piece of seemingly insignificant information.

But that wasn’t the case for Lori Salkin, matchmaker and dating coach at

He is now the woman's husband, as he checked out the book and ensured himself a third date.

6. They set goals.

Introverts have a clear set of goals for themselves, whether it's in life or dating.

But when it comes to dating, they have a leg up. They are uninhibited by the need to come off as cool.

They don’t waste “time or energy on other externalities,” says Salkin.

7. They are committed.

They focus their time on kindness in their actions, and they are successful in their goals.

Introverts get the women in the end, and they actually keep them.

They may not enjoy small talk, but they don’t play games.

Once they commit and you have their hearts, they are in it for the long haul.