The phrase, "It's not you... it's me," is a familiar one to us -- whether we heard it from just about any guy, ever, whose broken our hearts or simply turned us down in some way. This line is probably the most weaksauce excuse in the game, but guys (and gals) seem to find comfort in using it to break things off.
I can't tell you how many times I "thought" someone was the one for me (I may be channeling my inner Taylor Swift with that statement) just to find out they actually weren't meant for me at all.
I dated this guy once who used every excuse in the book to justify his own character flaws. He was a narcissistic, egotistical, suit and tie type who always found something wrong with me. This wasn't because of anything I'd done, but more a reflection of his own insecurities.
Guys like this are everywhere. They are the type that breaks you down just to build themselves up. As they do this, they also trick women into thinking that this is how all guys are. So, as a result, many of us lose hope and stop trying altogether because we just can't stand the fact that this keeps happening to us and our friends.
What's the end result of this? A bitter collection of 20-something females who find peace in drinking cheap wine and sleeping alone at night because we just can't stand the idea of being hurt again.
The truth is, good things always come to those who wait.
After a solid year of a being single, finding myself, and discovering what truly makes me happy. I finally started to realize that sleeping alone isn't actually the worst thing in the world.
I started going out more with my friends, I felt confident in just about every way, and I knew that someone would be lucky to have me (cue "Me Too" by Meghan Trainor). And then I met someone.
Isn't that how it always works? When you're least expecting it, you find it.
After being hurt multiple times, I just didn't know how to be myself around someone other than, well, myself and my friends. But this new person allowed me to break down all of my past walls and changed how I felt about the previous guys I'd been with. Heck, he even dealt with me at my worst, which is something my past beaus just couldn't handle.
He made me realize that if a man wants to be with you, he will not try to change you. He will accept you when you are dolled up, smiling, and thriving -- or when you're screaming, crying, and thinking the world is going to end.
I realized that a drunken Saturday night was best spent with the guy who wants to buy you a Redbox and a bottle of wine because he just wants to be next to you. This guy will do anything for you not because he wants to sleep with you, but because he can't sleep without you.
On a Sunday morning he wants to take care of you while you're hungover, because he knows you both drank too much the night before.
This one guy will make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else. Just when you think you'll never find someone, there he will be -- in all his glory.
Never settle for 10 pennies when you can have a dime.