Ice play during sex can be totally titillating.
8 Tips For Using Ice During Sex That'll Make You Melt

Just FYI, don't insert the ice anywhere ~sensitive~

by Jamie Kravitz and Emma Glassman-Hughes
Originally Published: 

Fans had a lot of thoughts when Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey used ice cream as foreplay in Fifty Shades Freed, but viewers might have forgotten that the couple also experimented with ice play during sex in the first Fifty Shades film. From penis donuts to grapefruit blowjobs and smothering each other in whipped cream, people are fascinated by the joining together of their two most favorite sensory experiences: eating and sex. But is any of it as fun as it sounds? Is ice sex actually sexy, or just… cold?

Dr. Jess O’Reilly, Toronto-based sexologist, host of the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast, and co-author of The Ultimate Guide to Seduction & Foreplay: Techniques and Strategies for Mind-Blowing Sex, says not only is it sexy, but icy sex is a way of life for some. “Temperature play is more than a novelty for many lovers — especially tactile ones and those who crave [newness],” she tells Elite Daily. “Because your mouth maintains an average temperature of 98.2 degrees Fahrenheit and your hands likely average approximately 86 degrees, you can play with ice, hot mint tea, cool water, massage oil, refrigerated lube, and other accoutrements to inject variety and unpredictability into your routine.”

So what exactly is temperature play? It involves using cold or hot objects to stimulate sensitive areas of the body, effectively shocking them into a heightened state of arousal. Ice cubes are a particularly accessible method of experimenting with temperatures (you’ve likely got some in your freezer right now!), making sex with ice especially popular. If you’ve always wanted to experiment with ice play but never knew where to start, you’ve come to the right place. Read on for the dos and don'ts of playing with ice cubes that will have you and your lover huddling for more than warmth.


DON’T: Use Ice Straight From The Freezer


"Our body’s sensitivity to cold can vary wildly, but generally speaking, it's hard to tell the difference between a funshocking cold and a damaging-shocking cold. This is even more true on the sensitive skin around genitals or other erogenous zones," says Crista Anne Carroll, a sex educator and former advisory council member for the Effing Foundation for Sex Positivity. While she recognizes that temperature play can be a fun way to shake things up in the bedroom, Carroll says it's important to be careful and remain aware of what is happening with your partner's body.


DO: Use Ice Water And Hot Tea

In her book The Ultimate Guide to Seduction & Foreplay, co-authored with Marla Renee Stewart, Dr. O’Reilly recommends an opposites approach when it comes to incorporating temperature play into your oral sex routine. “Place a glass of ice water and a cup of peppermint tea (or plain hot water) next to your bed,” she instructs. “Begin by breathing warm and cool air over their lips and clit [or penis] without making physical contact with your mouth. A wide open mouth will create a warm sensation while tight pursed lips will produce cooler air.” Alternating between the warm and cool sensations can be super stimulating for your partner.


DON’T: Insert Ice Internally

In general, you should proceed with excessive caution when using ice internally. Ice should never be inserted for more than five minutes, according to Carroll. "Suggestions of made-at-home ice dildos or ice being inserted anally are uses that I [don’t] recommend experimenting with. With internal ice anal play, you're running a high risk of the ice damaging delicate tissue should it slide out of reach ... or existing rough edges doing damage that isn’t immediately felt because of the natural numbing from the cold," she says.


DO: Tease Them With The Cold

When performing oral sex on your partner, Dr. O’Reilly recommends that you take a sip of the cold water that you have beside your bed “and tuck a small ice cube into your cheek as you begin licking, slurping, and kissing all around. Do not place the ice cube directly on their skin, but allow it to cool your lips, tongue, and cheeks.” This way your partner is getting all the benefits of temperature play with none of the risks.


DON’T: Place Ice Directly On The Genitals


Before using ice on sensitive areas, Carroll says to let it thaw out slightly. Set it aside in a bowl or cup for five to 10 minutes. While the ice is melting a bit, get things heated up for maximum sensation shift. "Beyond safety, this will also allow the ice to slip and slide over skin. Ice sticking to sensitive areas can be damaging and painful," she adds.


DO: Cool Down Toys In The Fridge

If you are hoping for some chilly penetration, a safe alternative involves placing the toy of your choice in the fridge until it's cool to the touch. Test with your fingertips to make sure it hasn't gotten too cold, and be sure to be liberal with the lubricant. The lube itself can also be cooled in the fridge for added pleasure.


DON’T: Mistake Tingling For Arousal

Frostbite is a real concern when using ice during sex. "Some people will find the cold slightly uncomfortable at first, but pain is a sign of trouble when it comes to ice play," says Carroll. This is why communicating about the sensations you're both feeling is so important. Any "pins and needles," burning, or stinging sensations are all warning signs of frostbite. Visual cues mean you should stop immediately and get warm. Look out for excessive redness or even a bluish tint to the skin, which is rare, but possible. The person using the ice should also be aware of these signs, because the skin on the fingertips is sensitive as well. Keeping a washcloth in a bowl of warm water nearby is a good safety measure, according to Carroll.


DO: Explore With Your Partner

Ice play doesn’t have to be reserved for the genitals. You could try running a cube lightly over lips, nipples, around earlobes, wrists, fingers, inner thighs, down the spine and lower back, and even along the bottom of the foot. If you’d rather ditch the solid ice altogether, Dr. O’Reilly recommends that you “dip your hands in your cool water before playing with your lover’s nipples or running a few fingers over their backside.”

As with any kind of sexual experience, using ice isn't for everyone. As always, make sure to listen to your partner, communicate openly, and pay attention to how they respond. And who knows? Maybe you’ll give the OG Ice Princess Michelle Trachtenberg a run for her money.


Dr. Jess O’Reilly, sexologist and host of Sex With Dr. Jess

Crista Anne Carroll, sex educator

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