The Ultimate Survival Guide For Coping With An Office Breakup
Breaking up with a co-worker requires a little more emotional damage control than splitting with a regular ex.
Blocking them on social media and deleting their number won't stop awkward run-ins bound to happen in the break room, in the parking lot, or at company meetings.
You have to manage your feelings about the relationship and hold it together at work as you watch them move on -- even when they do it with the next chick or dude in the office.
But, you knew all this when you got into this little sitch, right?
Here's how to deal now that yesterday's possibility is today's annoying little misery:
1. If you can move your work station, then move it.
You don't get over an ex -- at work or otherwise -- by sitting up in their face every day.
Sure, you want to avoid feeling like a punk on the job, but if sitting at a different spot is possible (without having to give a drawn out explanation to your boss or HR), then move.
It does not have to be turned into a big show, especially if your job has a huge variety of seating options. Just pick a different spot to carry on with your work and move along. Easy peasy.
2. Go ahead and draft an email to HR in case things start to get messy.
This is especially relevant if your fresh ex holds a higher position in the company than you.
If you start to notice any slut-shaming, projects taken from you, or any other funny business, then keep a tab of the shady changes and then pull up on HR with all your ducks in a row.
Nobody messes with the coin.
3. Don't announce the breakup to co-workers.
It doesn't matter if your relationship was super low-key or the talk of the office before -- do NOT make an announcement about what happened to make it all fizzle out. That's dramatic, and also nobody's business.
4. Shut down all questions from co-workers about what went down.
If co-workers notice the change themselves and ask questions, hit them with the, "I'm just interested in discussing work, not my personal life at this time." Then, smile and change the subject.
Don't allow yourself to be the entertainment at the job unless they're marveling at your work ethic.
5. Deny your ex any requests to "talk" on the job about anything that isn't work-related.
You should really be doing a clean break, which means zero to minimal communication on and off of the job, for at least a short time period while you heal. But if you must hear your ex out, then let them know it's only going to take place outside of work.
They have your number and sure knew how to use it after hours before the breakup. What's so hard about it now?
6. Ask a bestie to meet up with you for lunch on your break.
If you work a full-time job and have an hour-long lunch break, then use it one day for an afternoon sister-girl chat.
If you and the bestie can't actually meet up, then plan a lunchtime call just to gossip and catch up. The time with a great friend is sure to put you in a better mood.
It is especially clutch for the toughest days right after the relationship ended.
7. Prep the "I'm Awesome, Duh" playlist.
No heartbreak songs. I repeat, no heartbreak songs.
Create a playlist of your upbeat, empowering faves that make you feel bomb AF to get ready to in the morning. Play them in your car or on your phone all the way to work so you can pump yourself up. If you have your own desk, listen to it throughout the day as well.
Another hack is listening to tunes at a medium noise level. High volumes are great for jamming out in your car, but medium sounds are better for productivity.
You'll get over your old co-worker bae and kick more ass on the job. Win-win.
8. Dress bomb AF.
You may not have bounced all the way back from your ending your office love, but you can sure as hell look like a professional fox while you're at it.
This is empowering, not shallow because it's all about doing what makes you feel great.
Psychologist and author of "Mind What You Wear," Karen J. Pine, researches and writes frequently about how clothes affect the mind and mood.
She wrote in her book,
When we put on a piece of clothing we cannot help but adopt some of the characteristics associated with it, even if we are unaware of it. If I'm in casual clothes I relax and am tomboyish, but if I dress up for a meeting or a special occasion, it can alter the way I walk and hold myself.
So, put on what makes you feel powerful, even when you don't feel the best yet about your breakup.
9. Seriously rethink office romances in the future.
Don't shit where you eat.
The odds of a fairytale romance coming out of a job fling just seem too low to keep taking the risk.