Let’s say you’re the adventurous type. You’ve climbed mountains, rafted rivers, bungee-jumped off bridges. You order all your food extra spicy, and you’re game to watch things on TV other than Friends for the 80th time. You’re a world-class explorer in every way possible — except between the sheets. Somehow you and your partner can’t seem to break out of your sexual rut and things are cooling off. It’s time for a little shake-up.
If you want to know how to make her sore, or how to blow his mind, or how to make it so they can’t walk for an hour after sex — all in the most loving way possible! — it’s going to take a healthy sense of adventure and a willingness to experiment. The journey to the perfect position may not always be pretty (a queef here and there is par for the course), but it will almost definitely be sexy just by virtue of your excitement to try new things.
You don’t have to be Simone Biles–level acrobatic to send the temperature soaring in the bedroom. In fact, if you’re going to exercise anything, let it be your imagination. Take the Missionary position for example. It gets a bad rap because it’s sometimes considered boring or vanilla. But according to San Diego–based sex, intimacy, and relationship coach Tari Mannello, that’s just the tip of the Missionary iceberg.
“I like to teach couples the 20 Variations of Missionary,” Mannello tells Elite Daily. “It doesn’t just have to be a guy on top of a girl with his face two inches from her face, kind of like ‘surf-boarding’ up and down. Just sitting up changes a lot, because now you’re looking at her exposed chest and neck and there’s more room for interaction; you can touch, you can hold her arms underneath her thighs, you can pin her down by holding her knees wide, there’s a lot to play with.”
No matter who you’re having sex with, it’s nice to store a variety of sex positions in your back pocket that you can whip out when things are feeling stale. But if you find yourself googling “how to make a girl not walk the next day” before every bang-sesh, keep in mind that for some people, a little goes a long way. “I don’t personally find that adding super exotic positions is very helpful for a regular, consistent sex life,” Mannello says. “I think a few once in a while to spice it up is great because too much of one thing becomes boring. But even if it’s a great way to come, running through 17 Kama Sutra positions on a regular basis is not going to appeal to every kind of partner.”
Still, every so often it’s fun to channel your inner Ariana and Nicki and go for the “Side to Side” approach. Read on for the best sex positions that will rekindle your spark, and leave you and your partner feeling sore in the most pleasurable way possible.
1. The Yogi
Sorry, Classpass who? This flexible and flirty posture will have you both feeling more than zen — not only does it give your partner a sexy view, but it’s especially great for G-spot stimulation. The Yogi position got its name because it’s like a special combo of downward-facing dog and child's pose. The best approach is for the receiving partner to get down on their knees, stick their butt up in the air, and tuck their arms around their legs for stability. The other partner can kneel and penetrate from behind while holding the receiver’s hips or upper thighs.
2. Lazy Doggy
Lazy Doggy is just like Doggy Style, but a little more chill. Instead of exerting energy on their hands and knees, the receiving partner lies flat on their stomach with their legs extended behind them. The penetrating partner lies on top of the receiver while also face-down and fully extended — sort of like a classical missionary, but with the bottom flipped over onto their tummy — and thrusts from there. This position is really deep and even more intimate. For the penetrating partner: Pair the Lazy Doggy with some back and shoulder kisses and sexy ear-breathing to make your partner howl.
3. The Rubber Band
This is another one of those variations on Missionary that makes a huge difference for both partners, especially the receiver. You’ll lie down on your back but instead of leaving your legs extended, you’ll lift them over your partner’s head and rest your ankles on your partner’s shoulders like a supple little rubber band. Not only will your partner be able to get significantly deeper, but you’ll also wow them with your spry limbs. BTW, Elastigirl called. She wants her legs back.
4. The Figure Skater
This position is beautiful — graceful even — and you don’t have to be a professional dancer or figure skater to make it happen (though some stretching beforehand is never a bad idea). To get the Figure Skater just right, the receiver will be pressed up against a wall, with one leg lifted straight into the air and resting on the penetrating partner’s shoulder. Don’t push yourself too much if you can’t get your leg all the way up to the shoulder; your partner can hold your foot or your calf or even your thigh while they go to work. The judges say: 10s all around.
5. The Sex Swing
If you’re not used to it, it can be a little intimidating when someone breaks out the heavy-duty equipment. But all it takes is a few minutes on a sex swing and you’ll forget you were ever feeling shy. In the world of swings, there are lots of varieties: some hang from the ceiling or from a door, and some are free-standing. Carly S., a sex educator for The Pleasure Chest, previously told Shape Magazine that in general, “sex swings allow you to work smarter, not harder in the bedroom. They can give you genital access in new positions without requiring that you're an acrobat, super flexible, able-bodied, or a porn performer.” With the aid of a swing, the possibilities are virtually endless. Positions like the Stand and Carry (aka the Koala), where the penetrating partner holds the receiver’s entire body weight while thrusting into them, suddenly become a lot more accessible on a gravity-defying swing.
When it comes to getting frisky, you’ve got a lot of options to choose from. Maybe one night you’re in the mood for something low-key, but the next you’re craving a show-stopper. The best way to keep your sex life in shape is to find what feels good and never stop exploring.
Tari Mannello, sex, intimacy, and relationship coach and founder of Closeness San Diego
This article was originally published on