I've been single for a while, and finally, I love it. It took me a while to figure out how to enjoy being single, but I have it down to a fine science. For years, I was the third wheel, accompanying all of my coupled-up friends while they did couple-y things, dying of jealousy and loneliness and literally feeling bad for myself — no exaggeration here. But then, I decided I was wasting a lot of my precious lifetime concentrating on what I don't have, instead of making the most of what I do have.
Once I changed my perspective, things really turned around. I started traveling. I found hobbies I never even knew I had. I felt creative. I moved to a part of town I really liked, even though I had no plans on moving. I made new friends. I became a vegetarian. I don't know how that really fits in. But the point is, when I turned the focus on me and enjoying my life to the fullest, things started to change.
So if you're feeling bad about being single, I get it. But here are some creative ways to enjoy being alone, so that you stop obsessing over being single all the time.
1. Take A Trip
My friends and I are all single right now, and we're loving it. In the past few months, we've taken two trips to the mountains. This weekend, we are going to drive to the Grand Canyon. And we booked a cheap flight for a trip to Copenhagen in November. This isn't anything I would do when I'm in a relationship. In fact, I tend to border on agoraphobic when I'm cuffed. I hardly ever leave my apartment, and rarely see my friends — practically only when my significant other is busy.
So if you're single right now, don't be bummed about it. Instead, get packing. Take a road trip. Go away for the weekend. Try to work remotely for a bit, and take an adventure. You're young. This is the best time to explore the word — even if you're doing it alone. You never know whom you might meet. Your soulmate might be waiting for you.
2. Start A Business
After a string of bad dates (and even being stood up on one of them), I decided to take a break from relationships in general. I deleted all my apps, took myself off the market completely, and decided to take some time for myself.
And... that led to starting a business — a very silly, bizarre business, but a business nonetheless. I'm a horrible artist, but I love to sketch for fun. It's therapeutic! So I decided to start drawing pictures of celebrities and cartoon characters... with braces. Why? I do not know. I thought it was funny. But what was funnier is that people started buying them.
What started out as something I did for pure enjoyment actually became a bit of Internet entrepreneurship. I always thought I would rather die than open an Etsy store, but here I am, probably opening an Etsy store soon. What I'm saying is, when you're single, start doing what makes you happy. You never know what could come of it.
Want to get out of your own head and realize that being single is the least of your problems? Then, volunteer with a charitable organization. It's a good way to shift your perspective from entitlement to gratitude and understand that things aren't nearly as bad as you think they are. Find local charities near you and donate some of your time and energy to people who are truly in need. You won't be thinking about your marital status at all.
4. Get A New Hobby
If you find yourself bored without an SO, then pick a new hobby to pursue. What the hell are you doing, sitting around, being sad and bored for? That's not what you were put on this Earth to do.
Take a new exercise class that you've been meaning to try. Start singing. Dance. Become an artist. You can be anything you want to be, so why aren't you being that? How does that saying go? Life begins at the end of your comfort zone? Anyway, just try new things.
5. Audit A Class And Become An Expert In Something
The more you stimulate your brain, the more you'll realize that a relationship shouldn't be your number one priority. Plus, learning is great for your self-esteem and self-confidence. And, it will give you tons of new stuff to talk about.
Many colleges will allow you to audit a class for free, or for a nominal fee. And that means you just get to enjoy the interesting stuff — no tests or homework. So find a class you're interested in, and take it. It's a great way to spend your time.
6. Learn A New Language
If you have some extra time on your hands, then why not learn a new language? Buy a course on your computer or a language book at the bookstore and get cracking. Why not learn Italian, for example? Then, you can go to Italy and meet a hot Italian person.
So if you're sad about being single, don't be. I've been single for several years now, and I'm having the time of my life. While it would be great to fall in love, and I would welcome it into my life, I'm not going to spend the time before then moping. If I do, I certainly won't be the best, most interesting version of myself should Mr. Right (or Mr. Right Now) ever come along for me.
So as cliche as it sounds, spend your single time dating yourself and your friends. You and your future relationships will be better for it.
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