I am a GINORMOUS blabbermouth. I have a mouth the size of China. To be honest, I don’t even really feel like something has truly happened to me until I've exhausted the subject with at least seven of my closest friends and family members. This goes for everything from what I had for lunch to my terrible date on Tuesday.
So it's never a question that I complain about my dating life to my friends... a LOT.
Recently, it dawned on me: How often are the people I date complaining about me to their friends? Are my habits reflective of all girls in my generation, or am I an anomaly? Is there really any noticeable difference in how men and women complain to their friends?
I conducted my own survey of 75 people (31 males, 42 females, 2 unidentified) to get a better idea of what aspects of our dating lives we’re sharing with our friends. I already covered the good stuff, and now I want to know how often we're complaining about our dating lives.
Here’s what I found about the difference between how men and women discuss their love lives.
Does how much we like someone affect how much we complain about him/her to our friends?
Turns out it does. Men (67 percent) and women (59 percent) agree that the more they like someone, the less likely they are to talk about the negative aspects of their relationship with their friends.
Why? Scott, who is 22, says, “I want to protect what my friends think about my partner and their feelings.”
Nicole, who is 23, echoed Scott's instincts: “I protect their image. Nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors, and in my opinion, there are always three sides to a story. So if I really like someone, I'm going to defend their image because everyone fights. My friends don't need to have negative opinions because of a natural part of a relationship.”
Rest assured: Whether you're dating a man or woman, odds are -- if he or she really likes you -- nobody's finding out about that fight you got into last Tuesday.
Are we talking about bad sex?
If you are sleeping with a man, you don’t have to worry TOO much that he'll complain to his friends about any sort of subpar sexy time: Forty-eight percent of male respondents claimed they would NEVER talk about bad sex with their friends.
If you are sleeping with a woman, don't consider yourself so lucky, as only 10 percent of women said the same.
Also, don't be too flattered if your male partner isn’t going around town telling everyone about the bad sex you had -- odds are, it’s not personal. Forty-two percent of our male respondents revealed that their attraction to a girl will not affect how often they talk about bad sex to their friends. This figure is staggeringly high compared with the minuscule 18 percent of female respondents who said the same.
Are we talking about getting rejected?
Most women agreed that their attraction to the guy influences how much they disclose about being rejected. Fifty-one percent of female respondents revealed that how much they like someone "definitely affects" how much they talked about being rejected by him. Only 23 percent of male respondents agreed.
And while many of our male respondents (32 percent) said that they would NEVER talk about rejection with their friends, only 13 percent of women could agree.
Meanwhile, 38 percent of women revealed that they would ALWAYS talk about being rejected, compared to a minuscule 10 percent of men who said they would do the same.
Are we talking about the major fights we have with our partners?
To give respondents a better idea of what we meant by a “major fight,” we offered some examples, like being cheated or stood up. And 43 percent of female respondents revealed that they would ALWAYS tell their friends about major fights with their partners. Only 3 percent of males said they would do the same.
In fact, 13 percent of male respondents revealed that they would NEVER talk about their fights with their partners.
Not one woman said the same.
Are we talking about the little annoyances?
We defined for our respondents what we meant by “little annoyances": if she never offers to pay, if he chews with his mouth open -- you know, small things that just bug the sh*t out of you.
Thirty percent of male respondents -- but only 3 percent of the women -- said that they would never bring up these issues with their friends.
In fact, 13 percent of female respondents went so far as to say that they'd ALWAYS talk about the little annoyances in their relationships to their friends.
Not one man said the same.
Are we talking about the bad dates?
If you just went on a disastrous date with a male, rest assured! Odds are, that tablecloth you set on fire is staying between the two of you. While 25 percent of women we surveyed admitted to always telling a friend about a bad date, not one man said the same.
Thirty-three percent of men claimed they never talk about bad dates. Only five percent of women agreed.
Are we LYING about the bad stuff that happens in our dating lives?
I just had to know. ARE MY FRIENDS LYING TO ME?
Turns out that, when it comes to the negative aspects of their relationships, there’s a pretty decent chance my male friends are actually lying. While not one woman admitted to lying, 13 percent of male respondents said that they lie about bad dates and bad sex to their friends.
Why lie? Rick, who is 22, said thoughtfully: “Honestly, to save that person some heat. I only lie if it’s not to throw the other person under the bus. That's f*cked up. I wouldn't want a chick to talk sh*t about me so I wouldn't talk sh*t about them after a bad date or bad sex. I'd lie and say it was better than it was.”
I guess lying isn't always a bad thing -- or at least for real-life nice guys like Rick.