There are plenty of good ways to end a relationship, and there are plenty of horrible ways. I’ve done it just about each and every way.
I haven’t always been proud of how I handled things, but I've learned how one ought to handle such unfortunate and unpleasant situations.
It takes time for a man to become a real man – sometimes a lifetime isn’t long enough. It really depends on how quickly you learn the lessons life has to teach you.
In the end, being a real man is understanding how you ought to interact with the rest of the world.
Most importantly, it’s understanding how a man ought to treat women. And not just the one woman you know you’re going to spend your life with.
Even when a real man ends things with a woman, he continues to treat her the way she deserves. Most importantly, a real man always gives a reason for why he’s ending the relationship.
Because even though things didn’t work out, he still respects you.
He isn’t going to use you and then forget you. He genuinely wanted things to work out, but sometimes you meet a great person who isn’t as compatible as you think. Unfortunately, when it comes to love, you can’t force it.
You can try your best to make things work and even guide your thoughts in the right direction, but you can only be so delusional before you’re certifiably delusional.
Things didn’t work out for the two of you, but he still respects you like he would every other human being. Some men, for whatever misguided reason, feel they're entitled to treat women like garbage once they decide to end things.
When a real man ends things, he tells you the reason because he understands you’re a human being with feelings.
He's aware he may be hurting you and does his best to minimize the damage. He doesn't leave you hurt and alone, wondering why you aren’t "good enough."
Because he’s not a coward.
That’s right, a coward. Most men don’t break up with their partners without giving them a reason as to why they want to end things, and not know they're acting inappropriately. Almost all of them understand they’re being jerks, but they just don’t have the guts to explain what went wrong.
While this isn’t exactly acceptable, it's understandable. Cutting things off is never easy – or pleasant. No woman has ever responded with, “Phew… I was hoping we could end this.” Not even if it's what she’s actually thinking.
All men have fear. But real men accept those fears and then face them. Real men refuse to allow their fear to live their lives for them. They do what needs to be done regardless of how unpleasant or uncomfortable that makes them feel.
They do what’s right and let their partners know why they think it’s best they go their separate ways.
Because he understands we all need closure.
Were you in his position, he’d expect nothing less from you. Remember the whole "treat others the way you want to be treated" mantra we were all taught growing up? Well, real men haven’t forgotten.
They honestly believe the world would be a better place if everyone treated everyone else the way they wished others would treat them.
Relationships and breakups are already hard enough to deal with as it is – holding back information and not giving a reason for breaking their hearts is plain cruel.
Imagine if it were you. Sure, you may not feel for her, but it doesn’t mean she doesn’t feel for you. Love can be a bit twisted in that sense: You could be relieved to have your freedom while she’s trying to understand what she could have possibly done wrong... how she could have better shown you she cares, and what she could still do to convince you to stay.
It’s a difficult reality to understand without firsthand experience. Most real men have had their hearts broken before and refuse to rub salt in the wounds they create.
Because he believes he should be a decent human being... go figure.
Real men strive to be good men. They strive for greatness in all they do – including the way they live their personal lives. They nurture their interpersonal relationships because they’re wise enough to understand we all need one another.
All people in the world need human compassion in their lives. Without it, life becomes an ugly, hollow existence. It becomes empty and void of all meaning, purpose.
People often use the excuse that in the end we’re just animals. I wish we were "just animals" – but "just animals" don’t just kill for the fun of it.
They don’t hurt other living things just because they find pleasure in causing destruction. We’re not "just animals." We’re both much greater and much worse, in many ways.
You don’t need religion to tell you to be a decent human being. You don’t need someone greater than yourself to tell you not to use others as a means to an end.
It starts with little things, like letting a woman you've shared your bed with for months or years know why you no longer want to share your life with her.
You're entirely changing her future, and there is nothing she can do about it; her life is in your hands.
The very least you can do is be a decent human being and talk to her, tell her why you think the decision is the best for the both of you. It’ll still hurt her, but it won’t hurt for quite as long.