Why Your Ideal Woman Should Be High... Not High Maintenance

by Lauren Martin

Women are distinct. They can’t be defined or placed in a single category. They can't be boxed into a group or labeled with a single definition.

But if we had to say they were either one of two ways, it would be high or not high.

Women who smoke and the women who don’t. Women who appreciate the grass and women who ask you to mow it.

Now, I’m not saying you should just date any girl who smokes weed. We’re all different. But one thing we all have in common is while we’re always high, we’re never high maintenance.

Because you can’t be blowing hot air when you’re already blowing smoke. You can’t possibly be worried about packing when you’re overpacking the bowl, and you know they’re always going to have that good ash.

Who doesn’t want a woman who can blow rings around you? Or a woman who wants to spark up instead of question your spark?

Weed is key. It’s the answer to every relationship woe and the remedy to every bad fight. It’s the recipe for a healthy relationship, complete with an array of brownies and firecrackers (if she’s creative).

It's the first and last thing you should be looking for in a woman because a woman who gets high is the only kind worth chasing.

She’ll burn up, not burn you

A woman who lights up is never one to take the fire elsewhere. She is as easygoing as she is fun. She is never destructive; she’s rational and understanding.

She knows relationships can get cloudy, but she’s used to seeing through the haze and on to better days.

She’ll roll up when times get tough, not roll out

Is there anything better than a woman who stays and lights up through a fight? You don’t want a woman who is going to storm out, but one who wants to work it out — over a fat blunt. Because why punch when you can puff?

She’ll buy grass, not make you mow it

She isn’t interested in superficial qualities or antiquated stereotypes. She doesn’t concern herself with small details and definitely doesn’t get mad over trivialities. The only thing she really cares about is if there's enough in your bowl.

She rolls tight, she ain’t uptight

How can you be uptight when you’re getting high? How can the woman you're dating be nagging you when she’s always grinding?

There’s no worry about having an uptight partner when you know she knows how to roll tight.

She’s not afraid of roaches

Empty bowls, yes. Roaches, no. Her fears will match yours, and she will be able to solve her problems without needing any of your help. She’s as independent as she is fun to chill with.

She’d rather have a dime bag than be a dime

She’s not worried about her hair or her clothes. She doesn’t care if she doesn't have mascara on when you go out or if that girl across the bar is prettier than she is.

She's been to the other side and knows what's important and what's really worth spending her money on. Besides, any woman hitting a bong is always hot.

She’s only interested in one kind of paper

She's definitely not with you for your money... but she may be for your weed. She's not afraid to admit that, however, and there's no shame in wanting to find a partner who likes to smoke as much – or more – than you. She will never expect jewelry, lavish dates or grand gestures, just a hug and a nug.

She's not afraid to go dutch

She shares her weed the way she shares everything else. A woman who smokes understands the value in sharing and doesn't just ask to split the check, she wants to.

She’d rather be joint than separate

She likes hanging out. She’s always down for a chill session and never expects much more than a simple date. She doesn’t need fireworks, but she definitely needs a light.

The only time she’s overpacking is the bowl

You’ll never find a true stoner chick standing over an empty suitcase for hours, but you will find her over the bowl, packing away.

She will make sure she hasn’t left anything out, but if she did leave something behind, she'd brush it off just like that extra kief.

She’d rather take seeds out than plant seeds of doubt

She’s all about transparency, when it comes to her weed and her feelings. She doesn’t tiptoe around problems, and she’s never passive aggressive.

She likes things to be upfront and honest, exactly how she’d expect all her transactions to be.

She’ll break up the weed, not your heart

She isn’t in the business of grinding down men. She doesn’t look to get into relationships just to get out of them, and she is as loyal in her relationships as she is with her deals.