Exactly How Long You Must Hide The Crazy For In Your New Relationship

by Lauren Martin

There’s a certain point in every relationship when you can start a fight over nothing and get angry over anything.

A point when it’s clearly about you and not your partner. A point when you’re irrational, unreasonable and neurotic. A point when you’re just f*cking crazy.

It’s an inevitable point because, well, we’re all f*cking insane.

We’re insane because we’ve been inundated with a myriad of unattainable standards by which we’re told to evaluate our partners who try to live up to them.

We're insane because we don't know what we want, don't know who we are and don't know a good thing when we have it.

We yearn for what we don’t have, then question it when we get it. We say we want a guy who loves us, then hate that guy who loves us too much.

We say we want a hot girlfriend, then hate how she dresses when we have her.

We’re perpetually seeking something that’s not there and hoping our significant other can withstand the ups and downs that occur more hourly than daily.

Of course, we can’t show our crazy side to just anyone at any moment. It can’t be exposed in the dating stage or the sensitive first few months.

It can’t happen before the person is so obsessed with you, he or she can’t help but love you for it.

It happens when you’re both so intertwined, neither of you could back away if you wanted to.

It happens when you know this person can’t run — when he or she has to look into your crazy eyes and still say “I love you.”

If you’re in a new relationship or facing the inevitability that your crazy side is coming out whether you try and suppress it or not, here’s the inexact timelines to exactly how long you have to hide the crazy for.

Until he says I love you.

Love is knowing someone’s flaws and not trying to change them. If you’ve found someone who loves you -- who has accepted your every inch, nuance and flaw -- you don’t have to hide the rest of the crazy parts.

Love is about understanding who someone is and understanding who he'll never be. Love is binding, and crazy will always stick.

Until he's dependent on you.

Once he’s decided on you -- and you’ll know when this has happened by the way he looks and says your name.

By the way he doesn’t take chances with you and doesn’t push you away when he’s feeling vulnerable.

Once he’s made you his person and he, yours, there’s no going back. He’s crazy enough about you to handle the crazy in you.

Until he meets the family (his family loves you).

Once you’ve met the family, he has no other choice but to accept that you’re crazy or look like a fool in front of his parents.

Because when the family loves you, you don’t have to worry so much about making sure he still does.

It's your cheerleading squad, there to make you look good and remind him of how great you are. Good reviews always alleviate a crazy performance.

Until he’s addicted to the sex.

There’s nothing that trumps crazy more than crazy sex. If you have that intense connection, that wild passion and that undeniable chemistry, then the freak flag can fly as far and high as the sheets.

A man who is addicted to the sex isn’t going to let a few crazy moments get in the way of it, just like a woman isn't going to let a man's insanity ruin her orgasm.

Until he reveals his crazy too.

There’s nothing better than showing a man that being crazy is not exclusive to women. If he doesn’t think he’s not somewhat insane, then he’s more delusional than crazy.

Any man who hasn’t realized people, not just women, have emotions and feelings isn’t worthy of experiencing the magic and the creativity that grows from crazy.

Until you want out.

There’s a certain level of crazy we keep to ourselves, bottled up and stored for that moment when there’s no turning back.

It’s that moment when you want out but don’t have the will to do it.

It’s the unconscious second when you’ve decided it’s easier to just drive him away than politely tell him to leave. Everyone likes to go out with a bang, not a shallow goodbye.

The first 10 seconds because you need a man who’s crazy enough to deal with you.

The best couples are the crazy ones.  They revel in each other’s craziness and find beauty and magic in it. They need that craziness, that whirlwind and constant excitement.

They help each other control one another's craziness, never quelling it but harnessing and channeling it in the right direction.

They can't imagine dating anyone without that bit of madness because then life would just be boring.