The Heartbreaking Reality Of Realizing You're Not 'The One' For Him


When you're in a precarious relationship situation like the final “Bachelor” contestants Vanessa, Rachel and Raven are, the reality of not being the chosen one is heartbreaking.

Only one woman will ultimately be presented with the final rose and win Nick Viall's heart.


All three ladies have given it their all and fallen hopelessly for Nick in the process. They put their entire lives on hold for their quest for true love.

They all played their best games.

I can't even imagine the stress Vanessa, Rachel and Raven experienced during the final weeks and moments leading up to the last rose presentation.

They each felt a strong connection and passionate bond with Nick… but in the end, only one winner trumps all.


For the women who are sent home, that unbearable feeling of loss and rejection hurts like a bitch. They were not chosen by Nick.

But more importantly, they lost the game NOT behind closed doors... but on national television.

Here is the heartbreaking reality two of the three girls have to face after not being the chosen one in Nick's eyes.

1. Getting dumped is just plain horrible at any time, and in any situation.

2. Feeling like the one he ultimately chose had something BETTER to offer him than you did –  even though you put your heart and soul into winning his love – is awful. You really thought you offered him something extraordinary.

3. You introduced him to your family, and let him into your life. He even asked your dad permission to marry you. But just like that, he's out of your life forever.

4. Everyone you know (friends and frenemies alike, the ones you've known since you were in kindergarten) will know you were not the chosen one. As a matter of fact, everyone who watches TV will identify you as the girl Nick didn't pick.

5. You can't help but feel it would have been easier to just get eliminated earlier on in the competition. You've gotten to know and love him even more, with each waking second you spent together.

6. You can go from practically being engaged, all the way back to square one: single again. Starting completely over with someone new is terrifying and disappointing, especially after all you've experienced.


7. You endure feelings of resentment. How could he have said so many intimate things to me literally just yesterday, but yet, he will be totally in love with and ready to marry the other girl he chooses in the end?

8. You dread meeting up with any bitches or mean girls from your past who will be so happy you lost.

9. He played me, and I allowed it. WTF was I thinking, putting myself in this sort of situation?

10. You feel betrayed. You really saw no signs he wasn't happy with you... at least in this case. In fact, quite the opposite is true: You thought you shared special things together. After all, how could he be saying these things to both you AND them?

11. You felt lead on. In hindsight, he said all of the “right” things you wanted to hear. You knew he was playing you, but you didn't want to think he was actually a player.


12. You face the horrible fact that his relationship with the person he DOES choose will be publicized and in your face moving forward. Social media, tabloids and the dreaded wedding itself (if it does indeed happen) will push you over the edge for sure.

13. Publicly, everyone who knows who you are will remember you as “the one who didn't get chosen.”

14. The visions you'll have (well, actually nightmares) of him sharing the same moments with HER that he shared with YOU will be so hurtful and frustrating.

15. You can't help but wonder how you will ever be able to trust again, after going through the intensity of this sort of relationship and experience.


Every breakup brings heartache and trauma to some extent. It never hurts any less to find out you're not the right one for the guy you've invested so much time in and fallen in love with.

For Raven, Vanessa and Rachel, this situation is probably a thousand times worse.

It's not a private heartbreak moment... but rather, it's public humiliation at its best.