Why Hating On Your Ex's New Bae Only Makes It Harder To Move On

by Rachael Thatcher
Good Vibrations Images

We all know that gut-wrenching feeling that occurs when you see your ex's name pop up on Facebook. Douchey McLoser is now in a relationship with Queen Bitch.

First, it's a shock. Maybe you shed a few tears or feel some twinges of regret.

But then comes the social media stalking. You start taking screenshots of the new girlfriend's profile pics and, more importantly, screenshots of some of the ugly tagged ones.

You then send them to your BFF, asking, “I'm prettier than her, right?” As a prideful and independent woman, I'm ashamed to say I've stooped so low.

But, I'm not above it, and I doubt you are, either. So, stop acting like you've never pulled these moves.

After stalking and trying to figure out what this girl's story is, the comparing stage begins.

What makes her better than me? Is he happier with her?

Maybe she's funnier than me? Prettier? Nope, we already covered that one.

It doesn't matter how things fell apart, who hates whom or how much you truly want him to move on or not. This isn't about that.

Unsettled issues and conflicts with your ex may hurt, but your hate for the new girl is all about comparison.

I've been the stalking, crying and comparing girl before. So this time around, I took a new route, and it feels pretty damn good.

Sure, when I first found out about her, my ex was trying to rub it in my face because I broke his heart. I wanted to throw up, but you'd better believe I put my game face on.

It's much easier to get through anything in life when you act like a confident boss bitch.

Do you really want to be the pathetic ex hating on the new girl? No, that is not a cute look.

Don't waste your life emotionally invested in a part of your past. Why would you put your energy toward someone you don't need while you could be — I don't know — focusing on important things?

Hating on the new girl is something you will regret putting so much time into. It's difficult to move on and let anyone else into your life when you're wrapped up in this piece of what used to be.

Be the bigger person. Easier said than done? Trust me, I know.

But this is something you're going to keep running into in life, so it's time to figure out how to handle it. Chances are, the new girl is intimidated by you.

If she's a standard new girl, she's stalking your Instagram and asking her BFFs for validation. After all, you had her man first. At this point, you still know him better.

Sure, he's probably filling her head with all the reasons he would never want you back and why you're a psycho bitch. But no matter what he says during his time of recovery, he loved the crap out of you.

Sorry to break it to you, but you probably have a lot in common with the new girl. (After all, you do have the same taste in guys.)

Stop trying to find reasons not to like her because you're just attempting to justify yourself. Have some confidence.

If it helps, think of all the things that drove you crazy about him, and laugh at the fact that now, she's the one dealing with them all.

When it comes down to it, you broke up for a reason. It doesn't matter who did the breaking, whose fault it was or why it all happened. The relationship ended for a reason strong enough to pull you apart.

As clichéd as it sounds, it really does mean it wasn't meant to be. There is someone out there for you who is a better match, and that inevitably means there's someone out there who is a better match for him, too.

Maybe it's this girl, or maybe it's the next one. But, letting that weigh on you is causing an unnecessary burden.

You have the power to control the way you act and, in turn, the way you feel. No positivity will be brought into your life by hating this girl.

Empower yourself, and make peace with her.