How To Tell If She's Playing Hard To Get Or Doesn't Like You


All right, fellas. Read closely.

There's a very fine line between playing hard to get and actually being hard to get.

It's funny because the girl who is playing hard to get actually likes you a lot — like, a lot, a lot — whereas the girl who actually is just hard to get couldn't care less about you if she tried.

The problem is, the girl who's "playing" hard to get is smart. She knows you're always going to go for the girl who doesn't care, so she pretends to be her.

As I'm sure you've come to understand, this can get confusing. How can you tell if the girl you've been chasing around like a pathetic, spineless little weasel actually likes you a lot or if she really just doesn't like you?

Well, worry no longer, my friend. I've got you covered.

I've outlined for you — in the most dummy-proof way I know how — the difference between what a woman does when she plays hard to get versus what she does when she actually just doesn't like you.

PLAYING HARD TO GET: Waits for you to text first, but always responds once you do.

She doesn't want to be a desperate loser! So she's going to wait for you to reach out to make sure you're interested.

Once you reach out, she might take awhile to respond, but that perfectly crafted response will eventually make its way over to you.

DOESN'T LIKE YOU: Literally never responds to you.

When you open up your conversation with her, it's an endless string of pitiful grey bubbles gone completely unanswered. Don't let the one blue bubble from three days ago be your only source of hope. She's not responding because she DOESN'T CARE.

PLAYING HARD TO GET: You can never quite tell how she feels about you.

She's pretty guarded, so she never really admits her feelings for you. But based on her actions, you can sort of tell she might have feelings for you. Bottomline: She's confusing.

DOESN'T LIKE YOU: She blatantly told you she's not interested.

She told you to your face that it's literally never going to happen. And her actions back that up (i.e. the whole "never responding to your texts" thing). Nothing to be confused about here. Move on.

PLAYING HARD TO GET: Intentionally makes you jealous by alluding to other guys.

She'll casually mention an ex here or there, or maybe even tell you the story about the guy who was so obsessed with her at the bar last night. She just wants you to know she's a hot commodity, that she's here with you, but she could be with anyone else if you, for some reason, dropped the ball.

(D0n't drop the ball.)

DOESN'T LIKE YOU: Accidentally makes you jealous by being in love with another guy and venting to you about it.

She's not trying to make you jealous. You're just so deeply entrenched in the friend zone that she's venting to you about some other dude she actually likes.

PLAYING HARD TO GET: Rushes out of your place in the morning because she has "plans" she has to get to.

She spent the night, but she doesn't want to be clingy and annoying. So she rushes out of there as fast as she can to leave you wanting more.

DOESN'T LIKE YOU: Never comes to your place.

On the off chance that you did hook up, it was at her place and completely on her terms. And she never indicates any interest in coming to your place.

PLAYING HARD TO GET: Flirts with someone else in front of you to make you jealous.

Again, she wants you to know she has other options, and you're LUCKY to be the one she's going home with.

DOESN'T LIKE YOU: Goes home with the guy she just flirted with in front of you.

She's not trying to make you jealous. She'd just rather be with this guy.

PLAYING HARD TO GET: Waits for you to add her on social media, gives it a few days and then accepts your requests.

She puts the social media ball in your court. But she's not opposed to being friends with you.

DOESN'T LIKE YOU: Never accepts your requests, and maybe even goes so far as to block you.

She doesn't want you anywhere near her or her cyber world. Because, you know, she DOESN'T LIKE YOU.

PLAYING HARD TO GET: Doesn't give you the time of day, but somehow, all of her friends know who you are and love you.

You assume you mean legitimately nothing to her because she plays it so freaking cool, but when (yes, when) you meet her friends, it's obvious that they all love you and have heard a ton about you already.

DOESN'T LIKE YOU: Her friends might know who you are. But it's as the creepy guy who's obsessed with her.

And that's on the extremely off chance that they know you exist.

PLAYING HARD TO GET: Is late to hang out with you.

She wants to make you wait a little bit, but she always shows up.

DOESN'T LIKE YOU: Doesn't even bother texting you to let you know she's not showing up.

She doesn't value your time because, again, SHE DOES NOT CARE ABOUT YOU.

PLAYING HARD TO GET: Goes out of her way to prove to you that she's totally fine without your help.

She wants to make it clear that she doesn't need you for anything.

DOESN'T LIKE YOU: Uses you to do stuff, like DD for her and her drunk friends and pay for her drinks.

You're her bitch. It's that simple.

PLAYING HARD TO GET: Reschedules your hangout a million times.

She wants to appear "busy" and "popular."

DOESN'T LIKE YOU: Only agreed to hanging out because she was hammered.

Odds are, she doesn't even remember agreeing to this.

PLAYING HARD TO GET: Waits awhile to have sex with you.

She doesn't want you thinking she's easy.

DOESN'T LIKE YOU: Maybe accidentally had drunk sex with you once (if that), but made it clear that it was NEVER going to happen again.

And she was right. It never happened again.

I really, genuinely hope for your sake that she's just playing hard to get.

But if you read this list thoroughly and it turns out she just doesn't like you... TIME TO MOVE ON, BUDDY.