As a typical Gen-Yer, I have believed in the happily ever after concept ever since I started watching Disney movies. I knew that I would eventually find a boy who would love me as much as I loved him, and we would go sailing into the sunset, finding our own version of happily ever after.
Of course, I don’t live in a starry-eyed world to the extent that I used to.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not completely cynical. I know that love exists, and someone perfect for me is somewhere out there. But, will it last forever? And, will it be happy?
Lucky for me, I know quite a few people who are happily in love with a partner who’s perfect for them, giving me some good model relationships from which to choose.
And because these sort of role models surround me, I know that loves exists and that happily ever after is possible.
Though, this doesn’t mean that the common happily ever after story we have been fed will work out as the movies portray it. There is usually some struggle and fighting between the two people involved and there have to be compromises in relationships as they progress.
At first, everything is roses and candy. You love each other and you don’t want to be apart from each other for even a moment. Then comes the fighting.
Eventually, you have to decide whether or not you will stick with a person and compromise or if you will cut your losses and look for someone else.
The problem with our throw-away society is that most people choose to cut their losses and run far, far away. Why is this an issue? Well, because you never actually get a chance to see how far you can go in a relationship. It is just too easy to stop once the going gets too tough for you.
I have done that many times myself. I have dated someone, but as soon as we had our first fight, I decided it was time to move on and find someone new. Pathetic and cowardly, I know. But, such is typical of our time.
Once I decided to chase happily ever after, I compromised like mad and didn’t consider it a major sacrifice at all. I know that I will have to work to create my happily ever after. It will not be easy; there will be tears and fights, disagreements and meltdowns. It will be hard. There will be beautiful highs and terrible lows.
But, I have chosen to stick with it. I know my happily ever after will look different from everyone else's, as happily ever after never looks the same for any two couples.
I am not concerned with competing; it isn’t about competition. Are you willing to sacrifice for this person you love? Are you willing for it to be hard? Are you ready for the long haul?
Happily ever after isn’t about kissing a frog or eating a poisoned apple. It is all about compassion, communication and apologies galore. It is not about who’s right or wrong, it's about the big picture.
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