Halloween Suits For Dudes Are Now A Thing, So We Ranked Them By Sexiness


How come women get to have all the fun with their Halloween costumes?

I'm not saying we blokes would look sexy in ripped leggings, cheerleader skirts and push-up bras, but damn it, we have a right to feel hot too! Not just hot, but hawt. Like, smoldering.

Well gents, I come bearing good news. Nay, GREAT NEWS.

It's 2016 and the tables have turned. Girls, you can keep your provocative mouse ears and fishnet stockings — we have suits. That's right: SUITS. Striking, seductive suits.

Yes. This Halloween belongs to us.

Websites like Shinesty and Opposuits are breaking out the big guns this year, but not every suit offered is doing it for us.

Let's run down the sexiest to the most WTF:

The Haunting Hombre

All the yeses. Look me in the eye and tell me you wouldn't feel sexy as hell rocking this little number on October 31.

Sleek, macho design with a hue that says, "I'm here to trick AND treat." This one gets a big thumbs up from us.

Verdict: Sexy.

The Black-O Jack-O

Simple, spooky, seductive. We like this one a lot. The classic print, dual color-theme is enough to make our Halloweiners excited.

Verdict: Sexy.

Bloody Harry

Nothing shouts sex-on-legs like a crisp white suit doused in someone else's blood. This serial killer is getting us seriously hot under the collar.

Verdict: Sexy

The Spermy Ghosts

Yes, it's actually called the Spermy Ghosts Suit. If peacocking's your game, this daring pink is the way forward because, after all, only real men wear pink.

Verdict: Sexy.

Bandaids Don't Fix Bullet Holes

Only works if you have a mustache. We like the idea, but feel the execution is poor (Halloween pun intended).

Verdict: WTF.

The Weapons Of Choice

Look, we like a suit with weapons on it as much as the next dude, but there's way too much going on here.

It's hard to know where the chainsaw ends and the nunchucks begin.

Verdict: WTF.

El Muerto

Unfortunately, this suit's not ticking any boxes for us. It's a casserole of color and cartoonish pattern we just can't get on board with.

I'm out.

Verdict: WTF.

The Casper

Then there's this for the lazy ones.