What His Halloween Costume Says About The Kind Of Boyfriend He'll Be

by Candice Jalili
20th Century Fox Television

You're at a Halloween party, and there are hot men left and right.

Now, you can be at a party filled with hot men at any time. But there's something about being a party where you are all already in costume that gives you an extra advantage when it comes to selecting a potential mate.

What's this extra advantage, you ask? ALL THE MEN ARE IN COSTUME, YOU DUMMY. And what he chooses to wear as his Halloween costume says so much about his personality.

So you can spare yourself 15 minutes of painful small talk with a guy you're inevitably going to hate by just taking one simple look at his costume!

Before you go out there into that wild world on your own, let me help prepare you. Brush up on this list to see exactly what kind of boyfriend this hottie at the party will be based on what he decided to throw on this Halloween:

The Sexy Costume

Wholesale Halloween Costumes

Let's face it: You didn't approach him because of his winning personality. No, this guy is hot, and he knows it.

What kind of boyfriend will he be? Well, let's just say you're going to be heavy on the selfies and light on the conversation. Honestly, it's not the worst setup, if you ask me.

The Cute Couples Costume

OK, so this guy is taken and a cheater. So, DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.

Maybe the jelly to his peanut butter really isn't doing it for him anymore, but the fact that he's willing to even look your way is BAD NEWS.

Just think: Next year, it could be you in that jelly costume while he eyes some new girl.

The Cute BFF Costume

Spirit Halloween

This guy would be a great boyfriend. I'm just going to go ahead and say it: He's MY FIRST PICK.

The fact that he has a real, good old-fashioned best friend is a great sign. It means he's loyal and knows how to be part of a relationship (even if it's not romantic). More than that, you automatically have one person who can vouch for the fact that he's a good dude.

The Scary Costume

Remember Gabe from "The Office"?

Well, if you don't remember him, let me give you a little refresher. He's creepy. And weird. And obsessed with scary movies. And as a boyfriend, he's obsessive and has no sense of humor and is just SO CREEPY AND WEIRD.

Anyway, that's the guy in the scary costume. Don't date him.

The Offensive Costume

Spirit Halloween

Why you're even wondering what this guy would be like as "boyfriend material" is beyond me.

Like, this costume isn't even funny. It's just lame and offensive. That's a lot like what he's going to be as a boyfriend: LAME AND OFFENSIVE.

Just think lots of below-the-belt punches whenever the two of you get in a small tiff and kind of funny, but more just blatantly offensive captions on your photos together.

The Vulgar Costume

Pricefalls Marketplace

Despite what his costume may suggest, this guy does not actually understand women, like, at all.

Even if the two of you get along on a friend level, I guarantee this guy is never doing anything for you in the bedroom department.

The Dirty/Funny Costume

He's the guy in his group of friends who hasn't gotten laid in four years because he has no game and prides himself on being funny more than he prides himself on pulling.

Dating him could be fun. He'd never cheat on you, but you also would have to accept the fact that he's always going to be the center of attention.

He's an alpha looking for a beta who appreciates his unique brand of humor.

The Big Group Costume

This guy is FOR THE BOYS until the death of him.

Sure, he may really like you, but just know that his boys are always going to come first. This works ideally if you have a lot of your own friends. (He won't be all needy, begging you to hang out all the time.)

But if you want to be the center of someone's universe, this is not your guy.

The Cross-Dresser

Much like the man in the vagina costume, despite the fact that this man is dressed like a woman, he does not understand women at all.

He's a hit with the boys. He's hilarious. He's an absolute hoot. He's going to be hammered at this party probably grinding against a poll for about an hour while people take snaps of him before he passes out in about an hour.

Needless to say, you won't be worried about him passing out with a girl.

This guy's heart might be in the right place, but when it comes to being your boyfriend, he's just never going to pull through. He's more "life of the party" than "light of your life."

The Innocently Funny Costume


This guy was put on this planet to be a boyfriend and then a husband and then a dad and then a grandpa.

He's textbook "boyfriend material." He's goofy without being gross. He's fun without being a mess. He's cute without being overtly sexy. He's confident without being cocky.