There's nothing wrong with being rejected. It happens to all of us. The important thing is to learn something from each rejection. Why did she turn down your approach? What went wrong? How can you improve?
Here are the most common seven reasons she turned you down, with ways you can work around them:
1. She's already committed.
Whether she has a boyfriend, a crush on someone or is stuck on her ex, she won't give you a second glance if she's emotionally committed to some other guy. In general, the reason behind a swift rejection is sentimental blockage. When a girl closes any communication path before even uttering two words, it's pretty obvious she's hooked on (or with) somebody else.
Sadly, for this type of rejection, there's nothing you can improve on. Yet, you can avoid it by following her social behavior for a while. If she seems uninterested in all the men around her and focused on something else – like her phone or the door – it's pretty clear she's not open to any approach.
2. Your looks don't match her standards.
In other words, you are not in her league or her “type” of guy. The truth is, physical appearances matter, especially when you first meet someone.
No, you don't have to be George Clooney or Brad Pitt to blow her away. But, you do have to dress well, smell good and stand up straight. Want to improve on this? I think the way to do so is pretty obvious. Make an effort to dress well, look clean, have a fresh haircut and smell good.
3. Your approach caught her off-guard.
If she's not used to being approached so directly, then your move might have caught her off-guard. She might dismiss you immediately. You'll know this is happening if she looks confused, or even throws you some fugitive glances after the rejection has occurred.
Some initial flirting will hint to your intentions while easing into the approach. This will allow her to prepare a reaction. Always let her see you coming. That's what a man does; he shows his intentions.
4. She has sensed you're just in for "a catch."
There's nothing worse than making a woman feel like she's simply another notch in your bedpost. If she already saw you hitting on other girls and getting shut down, she's already smelled your desperation. There is no way she will accept your advances.
When you approach a woman, you need to make her feel like you're genuinely into her. Therefore, if one interaction seems to yield the results you're after, keep it simple. Approach a woman, and if nothing looks promising after 20 minutes of conversation, move on.
Do not approach more than three or four women in one place. There are plenty of eyes looking around, and rumors spread fast. Accept when you're having a bad night, and either switch venues or go home.
5. You can't make her feel special.
If the woman is already talking to you, but you see that with each passing moment, she's losing interest, learn that rejection is about to hit you. If this happens, you need to think about things. Were you a total assh*le in your words or actions? Did you give her enough attention? Did you ask her questions about herself? Did you listen to her and genuinely show interest?
Believe me, the success of your approach is vastly influenced by your ability to make her feel special. She is not solely interested in learning about you. It is human nature. If you make a person feel good, he or she will let his or her guard down. Make her feel interesting and appealing, and she will be interested and attracted to you.
Does this happen because of the mere desire to find out why somebody else likes us? Is it a chemical reaction? Who knows. Frankly, who cares, as long as it works?
Making a woman feel special is really what it's all about. If you really master it, the rest is all simply a matter of scenery and timing.
6. You have a bad reputation.
When a negative reputation foresees your intentions, it is hard (and can somehow even be impossible) to show them. This is one of the main reasons addicts of all sorts find it hard to change their lives.
The easy way out of this badly reputed zone is to change your social circle. Find new venues, dare to go out alone and try new approaches.
It's difficult to truly make a change. Shock these people in a positive way to show you're not that flabby guy they thought you were. Stay away from alcohol for a while if that's your thing, and let them see you're strong. You can better yourself, and you will.
Prove to everyone you have standards, principles and virtues, and that you're able to pull yourself up from whatever vicious circle you're in.
7. You're pushing for a one-night stand.
Letting her know that all you want is to get laid always equals rejection. Here are some things to make approaching her easier:
- Make her feel special by showing her you're interested in her.
- Get her interested in you.
- Use body language as much as you can.
- Read between the lines to figure out if she's interested in a one-night stand.
- Only point out your intentions directly after at least some kissing has happened.
In the end, the essential thing is to turn a negative experience into a positive lesson. Never get stuck on failure. Stay optimistic and adopt the saying, "What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger."
The truth is, success is within your power. You just have to put in the effort and go for it. The only way a baby learns how to walk is by learning to rise after each fall.
So, get back on your feet, see what you can improve upon and change your luck with women.
Want more awesome advice? Visit my blog, get my free eBook and learn exactly how to meet and keep the woman you've always wanted.