5 Small Ways Guys Keep Messing Up In Their Long-Term Relationships

by Justin Stenstrom

Relationships are always a lot harder than we men would like them to be. Things are tough, and no matter how much we love somebody, there's always going to be some sort of conflict from time to time. That's life.

The key to having a happy and healthy relationship, however, is to minimize conflict whenever possible. I'm not saying you can't be yourself, but the true essence of being in a relationship is compromise.

You have to find a happy medium with your partner if you're thinking of happiness for the both of you. With that said, a lot of guys make these common mistakes and often unwittingly sabotage their relationships. If they can fix these mistakes, they can better position themselves into having the relationship they want.

Here are the five most common ways men mess up their relationships:

1. They forget about the woman's happiness.

It's very easy and very common for guys to forget about their women in relationships. Men do this all the time. It's not because they are horrible creatures, but because they just have other things on their minds. It's easy for them to think about work, bills, money or the football game, and it's human nature to think about what they need to do to make themselves happy.

On one hand, it's always great to check in with yourself and focus on your feelings, but this tends to get in the way and cloud the focus in a relationship. Men's partners sometimes become overlooked. If this is kept up for too long, their spouses become really unhappy and want to leave.

There's only so much a woman can take. Guys need to think in terms of “we” and not “me” in order to have a healthy relationship.

2. They stop taking care of themselves.

Guys, I know it's quite natural to let your guard down when you're comfortable. This is perfectly OK. After all, who doesn't like relaxing when you're with someone you love?

But, to let yourself go and let yourself relax too much is one of the biggest turn-offs for women. Women get into a relationship with a certain man based on a number of different factors, including your appearance and overall health. If you start letting yourself go and start changing for the worse, you become a different man (one who's much less appealing to your spouse).

You should keep your first date mindset for the most part. It's definitely a good thing to always want to show your spouse your best possible self. Continue to go to the gym, eat healthy, dress up and take care of yourself. You always have to keep the attraction alive, and the appeal should never end.

3. They don't listen to the woman's needs.

Men, women are very complex individuals, and they're much more intricate than us football-loving Neanderthals. However, it doesn't take much to make and keep them smiling. We literally just have to listen to what they're telling us.

Listening is the solution to many problems. If, for instance, they keep bringing up a certain movie they say looks really good or a show they heard is very funny, this is your blow-horn signal to take her to one of these two places. Men who ignore signs like these make women think their men just doesn't care.

Her little hints here and there about different topics are her way of telling you she wants something. If you can easily provide her with that something, then do it.

4. They skip out on sex.

Look, I know sex dwindles as the relationship develops. It's human nature. Most couples (like 99 percent of them) will not be having as much sex one, five or 20 years after they first started sleeping with one another. That honeymoon period of having sex multiple times a day or even multiple times an hour cannot continue forever.

With that said, sex still needs to be a regular occurrence. It's not the most important thing in a relationship, but it is very important. It's the ultimate connection between two people, and if a woman cannot feel this connection, she'll lose interest.

If you're not having sex with your woman enough, you need to now. Make a point to set aside a day or two a week to have sex with your spouse. Do not overlook or skip out on this.

5. They let the excitement fade or lose it completely.

Similar to number one on this list, losing excitement in a relationship is like pressing the “shut down” button to a woman's heart. Women — human beings, for that matter — thrive on new, novel and exciting things. We all long for the good drama that adds spice to our lives.

Keep things interesting and exciting in your relationship, and you'll find a really happy woman alongside you. Nobody wants to be with someone who has no passion in life, does the same boring things all the time and does nothing new and exciting for his partner.

If you can't keep the fire alive in your relationship, it will burn out. Act as if you only have one day left with your woman, and the passion will never let up. I know it seems tough to be in a healthy and happy relationship, but the truth is, it is.

It's very tough. But, it's also very tough to be alone and single, too. In fact, no matter where you are in life, life is tough. That's the reality, and relationships are no exception.

Just like the saying goes, “Nothing worth having in life comes easy,” the same can be applied to relationships. They are certainly a lot of hard work, but if you steer clear of some of these common mistakes, it should make things a lot easier. Trust me, when you find the right person to be in a relationship with, it will all be worth it.