Breakups are not fun. Sometimes, they might be easy or mutual, but more often than not, they are messy. But the worst is when the breakup is a catastrophic explosion that sends debris of broken hearts flying.
Breaking up doesn't just mean you no longer see that person. It means you have to untangle yourself from the web you two have created.
You no longer consider that person in your daily schedule. You don't go to family functions with him or her anymore. The part that sucks the most is, you don't get to play with his or her pet anymore.
You have to figure out what life looks like on your own. Eventually, you need to find a way to forgive him or her for being an awful person to you.
When it comes to heartache, forgiveness is something you have to do for yourself. But facing your ex afterward doesn't have to be part of the healing process. What he or she did wasn't OK, and just because some time has passed, it doesn't make it OK.
Sure, he or she may have changed, learned from his or her mistakes or spouted some other BS line. But if there's no good reason for your ex to be in your life anymore, that person doesn't have to be.
You're not running from anyone or anything. You're not being immature because you don't wish to be around your ex. You're not being rude or selfish.
You're protecting yourself and your heart from further damage. Here are the reasons it's perfectly fine to never see your ex again:
1. Your ex is a reminder of the things you don't have in life now.
Some of the hardest things to part with in a breakup are the dreams you had for your future with that person. Seeing your ex now will only remind you of the plans you had together.
Sure, maybe your ex wasn't the right person to make plans with. But if he or she hadn't changed and messed up a good thing, you would have a different life now. It's not your ex that you want, but your ex is the reason you missed out on the joy and excitement that came with your plans together.
2. Your ex never apologized for the right reasons.
You can never bet on getting an apology from anyone. But sometimes, an apology for the wrong reason can be worse than not receiving one at all.
Why waste your time dealing with someone who will apologize for the leaves that have fallen, but will not apologize for the dying tree?
3. Your ex begs you for another chance whenever you see him or her.
Why even put yourself in this situation? He or she messed up, and you deserve better. Don't spend time with someone who will put you on an emotional and destructive roller coaster ride.
4. Your ex is a reminder of a bad time in life that you've had to overcome.
If this person was your enabler for something you're not proud of, don't come into contact with him or her for your own safety and sanity. There is no reason to be around this person after the relationship has ended.
You are in a better place now. You don't need to be around anyone or anything that could make you relapse.
5. Your ex was abusive.
You are worthy of love. You are beautiful. You have a purpose.
It is essential that you believe these statements about yourself. Don't let anyone make you believe you are anything different. You should never go back to an abusive partner.
6. Your ex cheated on you.
When your ex was unfaithful to you, you were stripped of trust. Now, it's hard to regain that trust.
Your ex cut you deep, and those wounds will only widen when he or she is around.
7. Your ex is now with someone whom you used to call a friend.
You don't need either of them in your life. In this situation, you shouldn't come into contact with either of them.
No true friend would be able to see how that person hurt you, and then still be willing to sacrifice your friendship in order to be with him or her.
8. You don't share any mutual friends.
The only reason people generally see exes is if they share children or friends. If you don't share either of these with your ex, there is no reason for your paths to cross.
9. Your ex no longer lives near you.
When physical distance is a divider between you and the person who caused you pain, you are #blessed. There's nothing better than being able to run basic errands around town without the anxiety of running into your ex.
10. Your ex got into criminal trouble while you were together, or shortly after.
If this person was willing to break the law, then he or she didn't really care about breaking your heart. Anyone who is that careless is volatile and unpredictable. Save yourself the agony.
11. Your ex stopped you from achieving a goal or dream.
Fact: There were sacrifices you made while dating that person. Maybe you never went to study abroad because you couldn't stand to be without him or her for a semester. Maybe you didn't take your dream job because he or she didn't want to be in a long-distance relationship.
Regardless, your ex held you back from something you wanted. Seeing your ex will only remind you of the opportunities you missed out on for his or her sake. It won't help anything to be in the same room with your ex, so don't force it.
Some people are only in our lives so we can learn a lesson. In the case of a bad breakup, that lesson was hard enough to learn the first time around. Why retake a difficult test if you don't have to?