Relationships

Here's Why Girls Who Burn Their Ex's Stuff Actually Aren't Crazy

by Nikhita Mahtani

Breakups suck. They're painful and chaotic, and they can take MONTHS to get over. You're left with only heartbreak, and you want to avoid any memory of your ex that you can.

If the breakup was particularly bad – i.e, you and the ex have stopped all communication and will probably never speak again – it can be hard finding the closure you need in order to move on.

You're left surrounded by memories, and you don't want to hold onto them in any way. So, what do you do?

Well, there are THOSE girls who burn their ex's stuff. You know the ones: They're usually portrayed as those crazy, rage-ridden girls who want to get revenge on their exes by ruining any memory they have of the relationship.

I mean, look at Taylor Swift as the angry ex in her song, "Picture To Burn":

So watch me strike a match on all our wasted time As far as I'm concerned, you're just another picture to burn

And I get it: Actually burning an ex's stuff DEFINITELY seems extreme, and it's as though the girls who do this truly have nothing better to do than cause issues where there are none.

Like, why can't you just give the stuff back or throw it away? Why BURN IT?

Well, it turns out these girls are actually the ones coping the best.

According to psychologist Dr. Cheryl Fraser,

It's always important to get rid of your ex's stuff because if you've got it hanging around, you're still psychologically clinging onto the past. By getting rid of it, you create space for now, either for the relationship you're currently in, or to get into another relationship without hanging onto what used to be.

If you ended on bad terms, you probably can't give the stuff back, and throwing it away DEFINITELY doesn't have the same satisfaction as seeing it go up in flames. Therefore, by burning an ex's stuff, you truly have closure... because you know you won't get the stuff back.

In fact, burning an ex's stuff can be so healing, there are actual burning ceremonies that take place, where people use the flames as a symbol of freeing themselves from the past and heading into the future.

The Museum of Broken Relationships, which has exhibitions all over the world, also understands the importance of ritual when you're letting go of something that meant to so much to you. The museum collects donations from people who ended relationships, and those mementos are kept as symbols of the end of the relationship.

It gives the people suffering from heartbreak a way to move on, by donating the thing that gives them pain to a greater good. That ritual is meant to help one move on in a safer way.

SO, if you can't keep your ex's stuff and have no idea where to give it away, by all means, BURN THE DAMN THING.

Because honestly, if it makes you feel better, who the fuck CARES what anyone else has to say?

Citations: Getting Rid Of The Ex's Stuff: A Breakup Guide To Spring Cleaning (Huffington Post)