Ah, ghosting. It's the dating phenomenon that happens when people are too cowardly to actually end things with the people they've been seeing, so they choose to just… disappear instead.
Ghosters are idiots. But if you've ever been ghosted, know that you're not alone.
In this weekly column, I share a tale of a time a reader was ghosted (with accompanying screenshots) so you can see the last text that was sent or words that were uttered before someone decided to disappear forever. I present to you: Boom, Ghosted.
Have your own ghosting story you'd like to submit? You can submit your story here, or send over to firstname.lastname@example.org.
This week we have Charlene* who was ghosted by two guys she matched with on Bumble in one weekend. Read her story for yourself here:
This past weekend, I was supposed to go on Bumble dates with two different guys, and they both ghosted me. Here's how it went down: I was supposed to go out with guy #1 Friday night. He seemed super duper excited.
But the day of our date, just a few hours beforehand, he texted me this. It wasn't ideal, of course, but it was understandable:
So as you can see, this guy was super apologetic. That's how you should cancel a date last-minute. So we planned to meet up Sunday instead. CUT TO GUY #2. Everything seemed fine. But then, again, on the day of our date, he was nowhere to be found where we were supposed to meet:
Again, it was also fine that he bailed. I'm not entirely blameless in this instance , since I was a touch late (unexpected roadwork), but I figured, given the circumstances, he would wait a few minutes for me. I was incorrect. So I drove home, but I got these messages a bit later, where he suggested we try to salvage the evening:
So eventually, we settled on a place to get drinks. I drove all the way out to another spot AGAIN, and then, he sent me this, which was the last thing I ever heard from him:
Then, on Sunday, I texted Boy #1 to see if we were still on for that night:
Radio. Silence. I'm not sure if there's just something in the water or what, but I consider myself at least a moderately attractive woman. I'm sometimes funny, a decent conversationalist, and if all goes according to plan, I'm going to be a doctor in a year. What confused me the most is the active pursuit they both displayed — going out of their ways to claim attraction, with no payoff. I don't know if this is an elaborate prank or if Mercury is in retrograde or whatever, but if this is happening to anyone else out there...you are not alone.
I really, truly have a huge problem with anyone who thinks it's appropriate to bail on any plan last-minute, let alone a date. People get dressed up for those!
Unless you're puking or a relative died, there's no excuse as far as I'm concerned. And bailing without giving any real explanation? EVEN WORSE.
What do you guys think? Is this just NBD in the dating app world, or is this still extremely rude? Has this ever happened to you? Comment any thoughts or feelings below!
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*Names have been changed.