Relationships

3 Times Ghosting Someone Doesn't Make You A Horrible Person

by Alyssa Lynn
Shutterstock

Some people take advantage of social media and smart phones making everyone completely accessible. They appear to be blind to the concept of knowing how to take a hint when you really just don't want to talk to them.

This is a breed of people I don't fully understand.

In instances like this, there are times when it is okay for you to ghost someone without feeling like a complete monster. Like with the guys that repeatedly make contact and take double texting to the next, next, and even next level. Ghosting comes in all shapes and sizes.

Here are three circumstances which give you the full right to ghost:

1. When ghosting a stranger on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or Snapchat

First off, it's a stranger. You don't need to feel bad about ghosting a stranger; they could be anyone.

What you do know is that you don't know them. Over the years I still can't get over the strange messages that flood my inbox - which seems to also happen to every girl I know.

So the guy reaches out and hits you with a compliment or a cheesy introduction. You don't answer. Then they start firing off multiple responses to your non-response. They are offended and feel the need to put you in your place. You still don't answer and they continue to shoot additional messages at you.

This behavior is just plain creepy and weird AF. Know that you don't need to apologize for telling a stranger no. This other person has far too much time on their hands and once again, could be anyone. 

2. When you've told him you aren't interested

Women tend to feel bad ghosting someone even if there is not a chance of anything happening with this guy.

We aren't openly pursuing you but we aren't ignoring you either. Perhaps we even go on a date with an internal pout. It's a crappy place to be in and becomes increasingly frustrating as you realize you're not only wasting your time but also his.

Eventually, it's time to express the honest truth that you don't like the other person in a romantic way. Some guys will take it and bow out gracefully. Others will express they feel the same way in an effort to protect their pride and themselves.

And then others will just become clingy stalkers you wish you never encountered in the first place. If you've told him no, you've done everything you need to do on your part. If he doesn't accept that it's not your obligation to make him.

3. When it's the friend of someone you used to date or "talk" to

As I near the age of 25 I truly wonder if 'bro-code' has become extinct, or the rules are just so extensive that I can't comprehend.

Whether you dated someone, hooked up for a while, or had an almost relationship, why is is that directly after you're "whatever" has ended, the guy's friends pounce on you like you're fair game?

The best part is that all of the guys involved are okay with it, and the only person offended is the female that know feels like she's being tossed around like a toy without a second thought.

I could go on about this confusing phenomenon but I'll save that for another article. If your ex's friends are now reaching out, you have every right to ghost.

If it feels weird to you, don't feel like you have to engage. You absolutely do not.