Recently, I’ve received a few questions from some of you in the process of looking for a serious relationship. If you’re getting hookups on a regular basis, but don’t exactly know how to turn that one-night stand or casual fling into a relationship, this article is for you.
A fling with any girl - and I do mean any girl (including the one-night stands) - has the potential to turn into relationship. Granted, you might not want to turn your one-night stand go-to into your girlfriend because you think she’s easy and not suitable for commitment, but let me explain something here…
It’s true that girls who are looking for relationships tend to make guys wait, playing the game of hard to get. But think of it this way: if you have solid “game,” you can lay even the “hardest to get” girl on the first night. That being said, how is she easy if you’re the one that actually has the power to sleep with her, regardless of her defenses?
In my opinion, the progression from hello to sex should be the same for any potential girlfriend (whatever works best for you). The difference is in what you do after closing the deal. If you ask every single girl you sleep with to leave after you have sex with her, or if you leave her house immediately after, then you’re the only one turning a possible fling, or relationship, into a one-night stand.
Her and your world
The first step you need to take when you want to turn a hook-up into a relationship is to make her part of your world.
This is the biggest transition one can make into any sort of commitment. Women love to be part of your world. The more you get her involved in your life, the more she will want to feel comfortable in it.
The truth is, a lot of guys (the ones that manage to have relationships) bring women into their lives without actually realizing it. If you’ve been in the game for a while, with fairly regular success, it is definitely harder for you to make this transition. This article is here to detail the exact process for you. Let’s look at an example.
After I have sex with a girl I just recently met or started seeing, I’m left with two options: ask her to leave and never see her again, or make her part of my world.
If I feel that she’s (by my standards) worth a shot, I’ll jump at the opportunity. Here’s how the process works… I give her a pair of my clean boxers and a T-shirt, and we head into the living room. I live with three other girls, and they’re all cool so they’ll sometimes hang out the morning after.
My roommates and me watch some cool classic movies, so let’s say that on this particular night, we were watching “Breakfast at Tiffany’s.” I have this white, shaggy carpet in front of the TV, and I always keep some wine in the house.
We sit on the carpet, and I pour her a glass of wine. Now you tell me, what girl in her right mind wouldn’t enjoy a glass of wine, chilling on a shaggy carpet and watching “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” with a cool guy she just met?
Exactly! And if she hates this sort of stuff (or whatever else is part of your world), you know right then and there that she’s NOT girlfriend material.
It’s important to note here how she’s becoming part of my world. What her and me are doing here, right now, is unique to our relationship. She is unlikely to do this with any other guy. Women live for this gushy stuff.
If she stays the night, it’s even better because she’ll be part of my morning routine. When I wake up in the morning, I cook eggs and bacon with a nice fresh fruit smoothie, and she gets the same. Hanging out with me gives her a look into my world and all that is normal to my every day routine and lifestyle.
If she has a day off, and I’m busy, it’s not a problem. I’ll take her with me, immersing her even more into my world. We have the chance to do things together, even if it’s something as simple as going to the car parts store to pick up a new light bulb for my taillight. On the way, I’ll talk about my car and other things that interest me. Does she care? Maybe not, but I’m taking the time to educate her about what I’m interested in and what goes on in my life. She notices this and likes it.
It’s important to note, as well as this being a super good way to getting her involved in your life, it’s also a great way to screen her out of it. If she doesn’t like any of the activities that you do, then she’s surely not a good prospect for a girlfriend.
If she likes your world, she’s going to fall in LOVE with YOU. Not the fake you, but the REAL you! How great is that?
Keeping her interested
Another thing to take into account is keeping her entertained in one way or another. Usually, when I’m in a casual relationship, I speak to her maybe two to three times a week via text message or phone call.
With a person I’m interested in having a serious relationship with, I’ll send her around five to 15 texts a day. My constant and open communication sends the message that I’m genuinely interested in her.
There are two things you need to be doing at this stage. Firstly, you should take an interest in what’s going on in her life, and secondly, you should given her a further look into your life and your emotions as you get to know each other better.
It’s very simple to communicate, and women love it when a man communicates. They want to hear about what you ate at lunch, what fights you’re having with your roommates, what’s happening in your family life, how work is going, etc. She’s also going to tell you what she ate at lunch and about the fights she’s having with her girlfriends, and you should convey a genuine interest in everything.
Communication is the sort of thing that builds a relationship. The better communicator and listener you are, the more reason she has to fall in love with you.
You’re actually getting to know this person, and soon enough, you’ll become very good friends. You’ll know each and every single thing there is to know about each other, and that my friend is what people call a relationship. When this happens, she will be thinking about you everywhere: on the train, at work, at the club, and even when she’s with her friends.
That’s how you turn a girl into a girlfriend!
Remember, all you need is:
- Good “game” to get her in bed/interested
- To make her part of your world
- To keep her constantly entertained
- To create an actual presence in her world.
- To keep open comunication
This is the sort of stuff I discuss on my blog and in the free eBook that I give out. If you want to increase your success with women visit ThePlayerGuide.com - a place where the "dating" mindset is thrown out the window in favor of more direct (and fruitful) methods of meeting and seducing women.
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