How To Nail Your Approach Every Time: A Guy's Guide To Approaching Women


The hardest part of talking to women? The approach. You know how it feels. The pit of your stomach tightens. Your hands get clammy and your heart pounds. But what if I told you that you could stop having approach anxiety all together? What if I told you that, with a few easy and simple steps, you could nail your approach every time, giving yourself a clear path into banter and rapport with the woman of your choice? It’s not an empty promise. Read on and you’ll learn about how you can start killing it when you approach a woman - every time, starting tonight.

Step 1: Enter The Room The Right Way

The first step starts before you even see her. You need to project confidence with your first impression and that happens when she first sees you, not after you’ve begun talking. Wherever you are - a club, bar, or party - walk around with a smile on your face, standing tall. High five a few people as you walk in. They can even be strangers. She’ll notice you as a high-value, self-confident man. At this point, you’ve conquered the first step towards nailing your approach.

Step 2: Approach Right Away

A lot of men make the huge mistake of hanging back and mustering up courage before they approach the women they’re interested in. Women are very perceptive. The second you notice her she’s going to notice it. The longer you linger, the less confident you seem. As soon as you notice her, just walk up to her and get things going. It’s the best way to do it.

Step 3: Approach The Right Way

When you approach a woman, it’s best to do it from the side, rather than straight on. The reason being that when you approach straight on, you’re putting a lot of pressure on her, you and the whole interaction. Stand to the side of her and turn toward her when you approach her. When it’s her turn to talk, turn away, but lean toward her so that you can hear. It’s a lot more comfortable and a lot more natural.

Step 4: Start Out Light

One of the most common mistakes we see men make is starting out conversation by bombarding women with a lot of personal questions. Rather than this, we urge them to start out light. You should banter with her. This means that you flirt, joke and keep things light for a little bit. The point is to relax her by making her laugh and getting her to smile. Once that’s done, you can move on to other, more personal topics that allow you two to get to know one another.

Step 5: Approach Often

You’ll always have a little bit of approach anxiety. How do you chip away at it? It’s simple. You approach women often. The more you do it, the more you get used to it and the less you’ll be worried about executing it successfully. Soon, you won’t even remember a time when approaching women was a big deal. It will just come second nature when you see a woman that catches your eye.

Top Photo Courtesy: Kirill Was Here 

Jordan Harbinger is a Wall Street lawyer turned Social Dynamics expert and coach.  He is the co-founder of The Art of Charm, a dating and relationships coaching company.  If you're interested in The Art of Charm residential programs, apply for a strategy call with a coach.  You can also interact with Jordan on Facebook or Twitter.