Is She Really Crazy?

by Anonymous

We have all been there before. Each and every one of us men has had that situation where they have dated a girl and for whatever reason it may be, things went terribly sour. She became volatile, unreasonable, and almost unable to truly enjoy our company.

Shit got so out of hand that we actually came to despise this girl and no longer wanted anything to do with her. Of course, once we go on and meet other people and women we always tend to refer to her as our "crazy ex".

Every man has at least one crazy ex. Some have more than others, and the lucky few can even boast that every single girl they dated turned out to be  a complete nutjob. Still, there is always that one that seemed a bit crazier than all of the previous one's.

The one that almost ran you over when you canceled plans with her, the one that hacked your phone, the one who deleted every girl you were friends with on Facebook, the one that tried to hit you after she found you flirting with a different girl or maybe the one who made you list every girl you ever slept with.

This crazy ex once almost killed both of us by pushing the transmission into park while I was going 70 on a highway. Good thing it was a high end car that was crazy girlfriend proof. Just thinking about all of these instances gives me a headache when I think about how mentally unstable she really was.

Regardless of all the craziness at hand, I put all of these experiences in perspective and came to a surprising conclusion as to the reasoning behind all the misery. I must admit, I am an asshole. The nice asshole, though, the kind that girls tend to be attracted to. Within this relationship with the crazy ex who did all of the previously mentioned fucked up shit, I did in fact cheat on her quite a bit.

I had affairs with other girls just as much as she had her period. I was flirting with girls right and left and was a terrible boyfriend. After taking this kind of behavior into consideration, I am beginning to realize that maybe this girl isn't so crazy after all.  She had to have been at least half normal for me to start dating her and now that I think about it, she only started doing crazy shit after I began messing around and treating her just like another booty call. Her saneness was lost soon as my commitment to her got shaky. So is it my fault? Never, but maybe.

Pointing the finger

We as men love to find excuses for everything and blame others and any other variable before we take accountability for any terrible situation. The truth of the matter is men use the term "crazy" to describe our ex's to make ourselves look like the victim rather than the villain for obvious reasons.

First being that we want a new girl we're interested to feel bad for us so we don't seem like assholes right off the bat. So, why not play the blame game like Kanye did? It's a lot easier for men to reassign the guilt and start looking for the next girl to call crazy in just a few short months.

Every action has a reaction

My science teacher once told me this while I was high in his 9th grade science class. At first I blew it off and took nothing from it but now I honestly understand exactly what he was talking about. My asshole actions and infidelities were detected and suspected my ex which caused a reaction from her, one that made her absolutely paranoid and reckless.

If my actions were to be that of the nice yet boring boyfriend or the perfect Channing Tatum knight in shining armor she sees in movies, she probably would not have become crazy at all. Could it be that the only reason girls are crazy is because we make them that way with our easily detectable mistakes?

After they suspect that we did something, they become crazy forever, refusing to trust any male afterwards. This is why the world is so full of crazy women and the rest are strippers, hoes and Kate Upton.

Fictional character

The thing about the crazy ex that is so interesting is that she turns more and more into a fictional character every time we talk about her. When we do find a new, sane girlfriend who will be crazy in 6 months we use the crazy ex to attain her loyalty.

By claiming we were "mistreated" by a  girl we are simply trying to get her to want to make up for the heinous experiences we had by showing us how a guy should be treated correctly--morning blowjobs, cooking, organizing, bedtime blowjobs and sex on demand. It almost gives us the upper hand every time we refer to her because as we all know jealously is a dominant female trait. Boy, is it good to be a man.


One of the few things men have in common with women is that we both exaggerate everything that goes on in our daily lives when we speak to other people. When we say we had sex with a girl, we might have just gotten a blowjob that involved a lot of teeth.

When we say "my crazy ex is so nuts because she called me 100 times in one night," she really only called 10 times after we vanished off the face of the earth and didn't answer her for days. Any story that is told about a crazy ex is usually blown out of proportion and might not always be true. And as I said before, anytime you hear a man talk about a crazy ex, always remember that the only reason she is crazy is because that guy made her crazy.

The reason the crazy ex is not just any other abnormal girl you dated is because you watched the crazy ex go from being someone you enjoyed being around to being completely obsessed with distrust, punishment and making sure you knew she meant business. She became crazy because she knew you had wronged her and then started doing things that seemed crazy when compared to her usual self.

Your crazy ex is a creation that is yours and yours alone, which is why she seems especially crazy to you while her new tendencies will just seem normal to anyone who knows her from then on. That is why it's so sad to think about the fact that all girls are crazy because it means that virtually every girl has been made a fool or cheated on by some asshole in her life.

Thank goodness for girls who have never met an asshole, because now that we know what makes a crazy ex, we will do everything in our power not to be your first.

Chase Hitchens | Elite.