Confessions Of A Former Womanizer: Why I Retired From The Game
We all at some point in our lives have read magazines, seen movies, or even read specific books written about the game of seduction. Some people have actually gone to great lengths in order to use such knowledge to manipulate people into romance or sex. Men and women alike are both guilty of this, whether they are educated on the fundamentals of courtship or not.
People use mind games in order to manipulate their lover into never leaving, or just to keep a fake relationship or attraction a float. Some people are just so jealous that they enslave their partner while they secretly cheat behind their back, due to the fact they wouldn't want to see their partner with someone else. I can go on about fake relationships and deception but my focus on this article is womanizing.
In my early years of learning all the tricks and psychology behind being successful with women, I too became "power hungry" and tried to win every girl over. I read a bunch of books and watched many programs on such topics which gave me very powerful knowledge that "Pick up Artists" had developed into a science over the last several decades.
Being that I didn't have an older brother to "show me the ropes," and my father didn't really tell me anything about women, I was a late bloomer and was actually horrible with women for way too long. Regardless of my good looks, I just didn't "get it" when it came to women. I took it upon myself to learn the ways of the modern Casanovas and I became a totally different type of man. But what kind of man did I actually become?
At first, I was shocked how simple it was to actually speak to women and seduce them once you adopt the correct mindset and know which steps to take in any prospective situation. Most men have such a giant ego that they are too afraid to approach a woman because of the fear of rejection, so they'd rather not even try - or they just get so drunk that when they finally do, all that comes out is a bunch of gibberish which blows up in their face.
They have no idea how to hold a conversation and when they do, they end up say creepy things that turn women off. 95% of men are just completely clueless because they don't how the game really works.
Through the years I became sort of an expert in this field(not to sound cocky) and I actually started to teach my friends what I had learned. Some of them used what I taught to meet the exact woman that they wanted and are now happily married today.
I realized this knowledge, if used for good, can give people the ability to actually be with the person they want, rather than "settling for less." But with any powerful knowledge, there is always a dark side to it, and this is what I'm here to discuss.
Just until about a year ago, my womanizing lifestyle lead me to realize that it wasn't even about impressing girls, it was about impressing myself by winning the "game." It made women objects to me, devaluing them into targets with only one role in my life. It's shocking that a man would admit such things, but I have no problem admitting I am human since we all go through dark stages in our lives.
Many times I would just talk to women to get the "training" needed in order to master seduction; getting a number but never calling them. Meanwhile these women actually believed I was interested when all I was doing was honing my skills.
Other women I would seduce and completely discard later, losing all interest after I "won", but at least it was a gradual release process over time since I was never the guy who slept with a girl and never contacted her again.
In fact, that is the dumbest strategy any single man can have. Why would anyone get rid of a sexual partner unless they became a nuisance of some sort? I always thought it was stupid that some men did this, but I came to realize that I was doing something way worse.
I was allowing these women to stay in my life even though I knew deep down I didn't care at all. I know, horrible right? I was beginning to feel the effects of my conscious which lead to me finally becoming aware of the vicious cycle most men live in every day - running around trying to conquer women like it is some kind of war game. Granted, this is due to men's genetically hard-wired drive to spread their seed, but are we really just animals and can we really accept that as an excuse for our behavior?
My awakening came slowly but surely. There was a time after I broke up with an ex-girlfriend of mine of almost 3 years, one of the few times I was actually a loyal partner, that I acquired such a large number of women in my "rotation" that there weren't enough days in the week to spend time with them all.
Some men would only dream of such a thing but this is commonplace with the small percentage of men who know how this game works. Some of my friends, whether they knew the science of picking up women or not, had multiple options, some more than others, but I was racking up numbers most men wouldn't achieve in a life time of dating.
One day I looked at myself in the mirror, to reflect on the life I had been living and I realized that we alpha male type guys all lived in a huge vicious cycle of mindless sexual conquests with no real meaning. I started to think of all the women I hurt, all the times I got hurt when my "game" backfired, and how draining this lifestyle was.
The time spent going out, the money, the energy investing in maintaining all my women, and the headaches that would come when my priorities became too much for me to juggle all started to sink in.
My charm and charisma were unable to hide the endless black holes behind my eyes. Women could just tell I was a "bad boy", sensing my dark side in the mix of subtle messages I was sending, which ironically made them more attracted to me. They knew I was the devil in disguise: a kind, gentle, intelligent man with an evil smirk and sense of humor who suddenly was in your pants before you knew it.
But I realized that I wasn't a man; I was a small boy trying to prove how much of a man I was by acting on my animalistic urges to conquer women like I was a king expanding his empire across the globe. It was at this moment when my life once again changed for the better.
Being a man isn't about how many women you sleep with or how "cool" you are when you sleep with a hot, unattainable girl in your social circle and then brag about the deed to your friends, nor is it about how much money you have, or any materialistic measure of success for that matter. It is about being a provider, protector, a leader of people.
How was I providing, protecting, or leading any of these women other than to my bed room to have sex? How was I doing any good when most of these "conquests" eventually became strangers or enemies and were no longer a part of my life; always leaving one of us hurt in the process? Was I any different than a drug addict, being addicted to the conquest of women?
I was never one to be a liar, but deep inside of me, I was almost ashamed of my new acquired ability to literally pick the exact girl I wanted to seduce. I felt fake. I'm not saying a healthy single man shouldn't enjoy sex or not have many options; my point is, are his intentions for the good of both people?
How is he treating his women? Is he lying to them, disrespecting them, using them? Does he even care about their well-being as a person? If you want sex, trust me, you can arrange an honest relationship with a "friend" where both of your sexual needs are met with no strings attached, so why run around deceiving women like a wolf in sheep's clothing?
Another thing that you will realize being a womanizer is that your friends will probably be just like you. And if your friends have made women their number one priority, then you will be surrounded by back-stabbing, deceptive, secretly envious, insecure, fake people who will always be trying to one-up you in some way, whether it is intentional or not.
Even in my own personal experience, I had come to find some of my closest friends were so envious and jealous, that they would conspire against me when it was for the attention of a certain woman.
People like this are so desperate to conquer the next girl like a crack head trying to find a fix that they will do anything to win, even if it means double crossing you in the process. They have no boundaries, no honor, and they were only looking out for themselves.
Forget about the concept of loyalty when it comes to men like this, they are only your friends when it suits their agenda, and quick to be your enemy when they find out a certain girl likes you instead of them. I know its sounds like a female soap opera, but this is how fake men actually operate when their egos are so obsessed with winning.
When I finally broke from this addicting cycle of womanizing, I actually became much lazier with women. I started to devote my energy to other aspects of my life concerning my future. Going out and meeting girls was no longer important at all, in fact, I stopped caring completely. Ironically, that drew more quality women into my life and it filtered out all the needy, insecure, unstable women that I wouldn't want to deal with anyway.
I implemented a 100% honesty policy with anyone I dated. Why? Because I didn't care about egotistically conquering women anymore; if a girl didn't like my lifestyle or who I was, she was free to leave at any moment. I stopped fearing losing anyone because I learned that establishing a relationship on lies or fear is doomed from the start to begin with. And by lies I even mean denying the fact you really just want sex from someone and nothing more.
If you can establish a relationship of pure honesty, then you can actually build a deeper and more meaningful connection rather than have a shady, manipulative, and fearful attachment. People will not get hurt because emotions are minimal, there are no surprises, and there is more respect between each other. As long as you both remain honest about yourselves these relationships can be highly enjoyable even if you are not looking to be committed.
You may be wondering why I have chosen to expose such a personal side of my life. Well for one, I am not ashamed of growing up, and two, what better source is there to get this information from other than a person who was an actual womanizer?
I am not saying I still don't date women as I did, but the whole meaning behind it is different. I have deeper connections with people who actually matter and I don't waste my time chasing women I wouldn't care for or respect anyway.
In fact, I don't chase women at all. I can't even fake liking someone I don't like and I will only put forth any effort if they are worthy. Sounds cocky and arrogant? Well it's not; It is confidence and knowing your own worth. That is the difference between being a boy and a man. I don't waste my time playing games because I am not trying to win anything.
While most men go around trying to screw anything with a heartbeat, or win over a woman who challenges their ego by manipulation, I just sit back and enjoy meeting quality women who are actually relationship worthy.
A lot of guys ask me how do I find any good girls in today's world, claiming that every girl is a skank or a whore - well I tell these guys, if you are playing the game of manipulation and conquest, why wouldn't the women you attract be the same kind of worthless people as you? Like attracts like.
If you are a womanizer, then the universe is going to set you up with a nice man-eater for you to handle or with a head case who is so insecure that she falls for silly games. Sure, you may snag a good girl into one of your traps, but it won't last forever, and when you are exposed, not only did you just hurt a good person, but your ego will get crushed as a result when this girl moves on and finds a real man - and trust me, she will.
The only people that are worthy of actually getting to know me will see the real me, that is why I quickly filter out people who show any sign of things that I wouldn't want in my reality. If you met me today, I wouldn't even show any interest in you unless I found you interesting. It seems kind of cold but my time and energy are precious.
I would come off as a boring quiet person with no charisma or signs of care, and there is a reason for it. Why would I want to attract people that I'm not interested in? I don't need everyone on earth to like me nor every girl to want to sleep with me because this isn't high school anymore. The only people that are worthy of actually getting to know me will see the real me, that is why I quickly filter out people who show any sign of things that I wouldn't want in my reality.
It's time to grow up folks. You must realize it takes too much energy to develop meaningless superficial relationships just for a five second orgasm. Good job buddy, you just wasted two weeks of your life, a ton of money, and created a fake connection with someone for a five second orgasm followed by a temporary ego boost that is going to fade one hour later, and now you have to find an excuse to kick them out of your place because you actually don't even like the person.
Then you repeat the process week after week, month after month, and year after year. Did you ever stop and wonder how much of your time, money, and life energy you've spent on being fake? It's not even financially logical if you think about it.
When you become a real man, you start to disqualify women. It is like you have acquired their power of selection. The roll is reversed and you now have the power. They have to prove themselves to you; YOU become the chooser and you run the show. That is the power of a real man. Unlike the guys who have the ego of a 15 year old high school student, real men don't have time to waste.
If I see a red flag, I don't care who you are or how hot you may be, you're done. If you don't have a personality or a sense of humor, you're done. Those are just some of my standards; what are yours? Is any girl worthy of your time, money, trust, and energy? If so, then you're not such a hot commodity and you are not worthy of quality women. No mature, stable, self-respecting woman would even waste her breath on a boy like you.
In conclusion, instead of being a mindless sexual zombie thinking with your other head, wake up and notice what you're doing. Notice that you are in a vicious cycle of sexual addiction, and until you get out of that, you aren't going to meet ANYONE worth your while. Being a womanizer is fake, it hurts people, and devalues you as a man.
Trust me, once you become a real man, you will have a ton of real women to enjoy in your life. In fact, you will have more women with less headaches because everything is out on the table from day one. You will eliminate any fake guy friends who are trying to feed off you and drag you down in their egotistical quest to be the best womanizer ever.
If you want to become a real man, you have take off the mask and put on your shining armor. With all the games aside, you can enjoy real relationships with real people, but until you break free from a womanizing lifestyle, you will remain a slave to your own sexual addiction and be surrounded by fake, insecure people.
If you want out of this fake lifestyle, all you have to do is start being real with yourself and others. It won't be easy, but as long as you stand your ground, it will be worth it in the long run. Practice a 100% honesty policy, build real relationships, and start enjoying a healthier, more fulfilling love life.
Angelo John Gage | Elite.