My Boyfriend Was Addicted To Video Games And It Ruined Our Relationship
When most people think of addiction, they automatically imagine drugs.
However, a person can be addicted to many other things, including sex, shopping, porn, social media or in my experience, video games.
I dabbled in online dating for a brief time and met a guy on OkCupid.
We clicked instantly.
He was everything I had ever wanted.
He was tall and funny, he dressed really well and he had nice hair and a great job. We never ran out of things to talk about, and he made me laugh.
After a few months, his gaming started infiltrating our relationship.
I'd drive 45 minutes to his apartment, and he would play games for a while.
At first, this didn't bother me. I'd sit and browse Pinterest or watch TV on the couch while he played games.
Then, when his game was over, he would devote all his attention to me.
He complained his ex-girlfriend would become furious with him over his gaming, but I was different.
I was laid-back and cool, and I didn't make a big fuss over some video games once in a while.
Most guys like video games. I know this because I have a brother and male cousins.
But once we were more comfortable with each other, the gaming became more and more frequent.
Almost every time I went to his place, he would be on his computer, mouse and keyboard clicking at a rapid pace.
He would scream at the computer and talk to his friends on his headset.
I would sit on the couch, scrolling through Twitter and Facebook for hours on end, waiting for him to finish so we could hang out.
I understood this was his hobby and passion.
He played professionally for a few years in high school and college, and he made thousands of dollars, which was pretty cool.
I never complained about it. I had a lot of patience, and I didn't want him to think I was anything like his angry ex.
Then, he started canceling plans more often.
Once I moved in, I realized when he said he wasn't feeling well and wanted to do dinner another time, he was probably just playing video games and couldn't tear himself away from the screen.
Numerous times, we planned to spend weekends at his parents' house in another state.
I'd take days off work and arrange for my mom to take care of my dog.
I'd be excited to spend some quality time with my boyfriend on the four-hour drive.
Instead, he'd either cancel at the last minute and play games all weekend, or he'd spend all our time there watching people play games on YouTube or other sites where people could stream their gaming.
He'd get up in the morning, sit at his computer chair and not get up until he went to bed.
This happened every weekend.
It got to the point where I'd feel special just watching a movie with him because for once, his hands weren't on the keyboard.
We would make plans to do something fun like go to the movies or check out a restaurant that sounded good, but he would get into a game first thing in the morning and change his mind, saying he wasn't really in the mood to put on jeans and go out.
I thought my birthday would be different, but I ended up doing nothing all day while he gamed.
Only when it was time to go out to dinner with my family did he finally manage to peel himself away from his screen.
I'd go to bed and ask him to come with me so we could “Netflix and chill” before falling asleep.
He'd say he'd "be there in a minute," but most times, I'd fall asleep alone while he played games.
He'd finally come to bed hours later, after I had already passed out.
I didn't realize he had a problem until we broke up, and I finally saw it wasn't normal behavior.
It's fine to like video games, but when it takes over your life and destroys more than one relationship, you know it's a problem.
He admitted he has an addiction to video games, but until he receives help, he'll forever be in a relationship with his computer.