Have you ever found yourself in a relationship that felt very one-sided? Where you felt a strong connection with a man, and you yearned to make it work, but ultimately, you felt something wasn’t right?
He’s often the man who is a smooth-talker and never follows through with his actions.
He's the one who says he wants to be with you, but then fails to put a label on the relationship because he suffers from an inherent fear of commitment.
He's the one who can take you from feeling elated and hopeful to morose within a matter of seconds due to his inconsistency.
He is the ultimate bad boy and eventually, after investing all of your time and energy into making it work, you give up. You resolve he’ll never change and you deserve to be treated much better.
Over time, you begin to move on and take comfort in knowing he just isn’t boyfriend material.
But then suddenly, one of your worst fears about letting him go comes true: The bad boy who you thought was an eternal bachelor finally becomes the caring, loving, committed boyfriend you always wanted, but with another woman.
You panic and rack your brain for any possible reason as to why this happened.
You creep on his new girlfriend on social media in an attempt to decipher what makes her better than you. Why her? Why not you?
It is a painful realization to come to, and only time can really bring you the closure you need.
However, here are three factors to consider when trying to understand why the frog you once kissed became another woman's prince:
When it comes to relationships, timing is extremely important. The same guy who was unavailable months ago could now be ready for a relationship due to possible changes that took place in his life.
I've considered this same situation with my own boyfriend. If we met earlier in our lives, things wouldn't have worked out the same way because we both weren't ready for commitment.
If a guy isn’t mentally and emotionally prepared to invest in a real relationship, he isn’t likely to commit just to appease you.
No matter how good you are to him, it won’t make a difference if he isn’t ready.
You’re Too Available
Inherently, most men like a chase. However, that doesn’t mean you have to act like an unavailable bitch to make him commit.
When you have your own life, hobbies, friends and passions, you automatically become a woman he has to work harder for.
A woman who is fulfilled and happy with her own individual life is far more cautious with possible future partners.
This type of woman, who values herself and her time, is attractive because she has her own thing going on. She is confident, secure and perfectly happy on her own.
So, if any man wants to be with her, he quickly learns he has to be an equal partner and treat her right.
She won’t settle for just anyone because she recognizes her self-worth, and that is a quality most men can agree is desirable.
So much so, that it could even make the ultimate, unavailable bachelor grow up in order to get the girl. (Ahem, George Clooney.)
He Thinks He Needs To Be With A Particular Type Of Woman
This is often the hardest one to comprehend, but it does happen because of how image obsessed we all are in today's society.
I once knew a guy who told me he didn’t want to commit to a girl because she “wasn’t a model.” Ridiculous? Absolutely. But, I have witnessed it on more than one occasion.
Some men are driven by superficiality and are predisposed to believe they need to be with a particular type of girl.
Whether it's determined by her looks, age or status, there are a number of elements some guys just don’t want to compromise on.
Unfortunately, this means even when they do meet a girl who makes them happy (maybe even happier than their “ideal woman” would), they still refuse to commit because they’re too caught up in finding their version of "the one."
If you've given your heart to this guy, it's best to move on because a man who only seeks a superficially-satisfying relationship will never be the right guy for you.
At the end of the day, focus on creating a meaningful, joyful life for yourself, regardless of whether it includes a relationship.
If you're single and looking or single and not looking, you will always be happiest when you invest loving, positive energy into yourself.
It is also only then that you will attract the right man for you.
There are many factors that lay the foundation for a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship, but there needs to be a balance for it to really work.
An equal amount of give and take from both partners is required, and this balance can only occur when both parties are happy and satisfied in their lives as single individuals.
As clichéd as it may be to say, it all starts with self-love. Once you realize how amazing you are and learn to invest in yourself, the rest will fall into place.