Men today have no idea how to successfully pursue women.
They chomp at the bit the moment they find women who grab their attention, pulling out every weapon in their arsenals to attract them.
"You’re so beautiful." "Why are you single?" "Let me take you out sometime. I’m not like the rest."
I'm sure this sounds all too familiar to most women. It's unnatural, and it's far from genuine. But somehow, we've allowed it.
Welcome to 2015 and the wonderful world of dating. We no longer put forth any effort. And when I say effort, I’m not eluding to what we say; I’m referring to what we do.
So men, consider this:
1. Be genuine.
Throwing yourself at her isn’t going to score you any points. Whether you’re constantly telling her she's beautiful, or blowing up her phone all hours of the day by telling her you're great, none of it is gaining her attention. Just stop.
If you're the type who believes in playing "hard to get," and you ignore her all day, she won't be interested, either.
All this displays is immaturity.
Instead, be genuine. Allow your intentions to be true. Refrain from acting like she's an object you’re trying to win, and treat her like a woman whose respect you're trying to gain.
There’s way more to her than what you’re attracted to on the surface, so make a valiant effort to uncover it. She spends her days and nights just like you: working, thinking, planning and building. Take an interest in every aspect of her day-to-day.
Reply when she texts you. Pick up the phone when she calls you. And never be afraid to be the first to say hello and ask how her day is going.
When you do something for her, do it out of the kindness of your heart. If you’re interested in her, you’ll find appreciation for all aspects of her life.
In return, she’ll learn to appreciate, trust and respect you.
2. Be confident.
Confidence exudes through your words, and even more so through your actions.
She can hear it in your voice, see it in your eyes and sense it in the way you walk. In a sense, your demeanor says, “I'm the right man for you. And one way or another, I'm going to make you mine.”
She’ll feel that immediately. You won't even have to say a word.
Even though the world is filled with distractions and hurdles, you can't focus your energy on how you might lose her. Rather, be proud of the way you treat her, and give her no reason to look elsewhere.
If you fall victim to insecurities and jealously, the only thing you'll be doing do is pushing her away. They'll ruin any shot you have at building a healthy partnership.
So, stop worrying about other men.
There will always be someone who's better looking, more intelligent and more successful than you. But if you're concerned with those possibilities, you'll never be happy with yourself. And clearly, you won't have the mental capacity to make her happy, either.
Understand if she's giving you even a small portion of her time, there's some level of interest. Be confident, and work with what you're given.
3. Be spontaneous.
As we get older, our lives naturally require more structure. Each and every day is destined to be planned, whether it be reading hundreds of emails, running around the city to our next meetings or grinding through the latest tasks on our agendas.
In most cases, there's never enough time in the day to get everything done.
Take a step back from your crazy schedule, and be spontaneous.
Don't go looking for time; make time.
Call her, tell her to get dressed, take a drive up by the hills and just sit and watch the sun rise. Walk around the city all night, and talk about life. Plan a picnic in the park, take her to see her favorite play, get dressed up and go see a jazz show, journey to new places and explore new things.
There's an entire world out there. Uncover it without intensive planning. The best moments in life are the ones that just happen, the ones we never saw coming.
Every woman expects the typical dinner date. And to be honest, it's kind of boring. Put more thought into it.
The element of surprise will draw her in, and it will give her even more reason to be with you.
4. Be respectful.
She's a woman, not your boy. Some men today tend to forget that.
She always deserves your utmost respect. Rule number one? Never curse at her.
Never be the man who devalues a woman with your words. It’s ugly, and quite honestly, it should have no place in your relationship.
Would you want a man talking to your daughter that way? I didn't think so. Take an interest in her and nobody else. Hold the door for her, pull her seat out at dinner, hold her hand and kiss her gracefully.
In the process, refrain from building your relationship on physical intimacy alone.
It shows you're invested in her, not what's in-between her legs, and you respect her enough to value the process.
Getting to know someone on an intimate level is one of the most exciting parts of building a relationship. You create this bond that yields intense passion. And with passion, physical intimacy becomes this mind-blowing connection that brings the two of you together.
It now has meaning.
She'll admire you for respecting her, and she'll desire you that much more for doing so.
5. Be intelligent.
Stimulate her mind.
Ladies, correct me if I'm wrong, but what woman doesn't want a man who can speak intelligently, articulate his thoughts gracefully and master his craft?
Your mind is the most powerful tool in your arsenal. Spend every day looking to learn something new, and educate yourself on things that interest her.
Once she becomes a part of your life, you can dream together, plan together and create a vision for life together. And then, you can chase it aggressively.
Allow your conversations to have substance. Talk about what motivates you, what inspires you and what makes your heart scream.
Sure, your looks and finances can attract someone, but it’s your mind that captures the soul. Use it as often as possible.
6. Be patient.
All great things take time, and nobody wants to be with someone who appears desperate.
Ever hear the saying, “Slow and steady wins the race”? It’s true. A woman likes it when you can exhibit patience. It basically says, “I'll wait for you because you’re worth it.”
We all want what we want. And at times, we want it yesterday, but that’s not how life works.
If you believe she’s worth it, sit back and enjoy the ride. If you’re genuine and honest with your emotions, treat her with respect and value her as a woman. Odds are, you will ultimately land your prize.
And if you happen not to? Well, it wasn't meant to be, and that's okay, too.
Every moment of life is an experience, so don’t discredit that. Learn along the way.
7. Be a man.
The world is filled with a bunch of men who lack passion and direction. They fear being vulnerable, and so inevitably, they put up a front for women.
They look for the best looking woman they can find, attempt to impress her by pretending to be someone they're not, use her for what she's worth and then kick her to the curb when the next best thing comes along.
And when they want to, they will reel her back in, promising her they’ve changed.
Treating a woman with disrespect, devaluing her dreams, belittling her ambitions, and giving attention to other women doesn't make you a man.
It makes you a loser, and an insecure one at that. So, if you want her, value her. If you want to keep her, honor her. If you want to see her grow, support her.
Take time out of your day to ensure she feels your passion. Tell her how beautiful she is. Be the greatest fan of her life. Go hard for her every single day, and when you feel like you’ve gone as far as you can, go even farther.
If you can’t do these things, don’t waste your time. And more importantly, don’t waste hers.
She wants something nobody has. Be just that. Make a lasting impression on her life. Be the man who comes into her life, and changes everything she's ever thought about men and relationships.
Prove to her there is actually someone who is interested in her for who she is, not what she is.
At the end of the day, it doesn't matter how much money you have or how good you look. What matters is how special you make her feel. That's how you'll get her to fall head over heels in love with you.
And when she does, pursue her over and over again.