With the way our world is today — everyone hooking up with everyone, but not really being together —, love has become something of a game.
We are exposed to TV shows that promote competitions for one's affection; we obsess over love triangle storylines. We have lost track of what is realistic and acceptable in terms of what we deserve. Of course, there are always battles when it comes to love. And, that's perfectly okay.
It's okay to fight with and for someone. It's okay to fight to show someone how much you need or want him or her in your life. But, it's not okay to compete for someone.
There is a fine line between determination and desperation. Know when and where to draw the line.
What Is Right Will Never Have To Be Forced
What might seem like you trying to win someone over or back into your life might be a twisted version of that. In love, we all start somewhere, and we all make mistakes we want to fix. When you find or lose your person of interest, a strong urge of determination tends to take over.
You will get what you want no matter what, or more importantly, whom. It's okay to tell someone why he or she should be with you. However, it's not okay to say why he or she needs to pick you.
When you find yourself feeling compelled to defend your feelings more than proclaim them, take that as a sign.
There is no logic when it comes to love; you shouldn't have to feel like you have to convince a person you and your feelings are the right choice. You shouldn't have to force someone to want to be with you over someone else; that's not how love should work.
If you have to force anything -- a friendship, a drawer shut or a relationship --, just leave it.
There should be no "it's me or the other person" ultimatums. If there was something real between you two, the competition would have never started, and you would be the only choice.
You shouldn't have to force someone to choose you. The other person should choose you -- every single time.
You Shouldn't Wait For The Person To Pick You
The excruciating pleasure of a battle like this can become so second nature to a person, the person doesn't even realize how demeaning it is. If you can't think about someone without thinking of someone else, doesn't that tell you something?
This is the type of love you accept when it's not acceptable. There should be no comparisons, no competition. Yes, you should want to prove your worth, but, you should never have to against someone else.
You're so busy wasting your fight on this competition, you don't even realize the battle is a one-sided street. You give and you give, but you get nothing. You deserve someone who would fight back for you.
You're so consumed by the potential outcome of this situation, you don't even realize how long you've been manipulated. You hold onto the hope that in the end, it will be you.
You're so busy fighting to show how much you want the person and no one else, you don't even realize all you're doing is waiting for the person to want you, and only you, back.
I'm sorry to tell you, but the hope you're holding onto is just that. For the other person, it never was nor will be you. Let it go.
You Have To Know When To Forfeit The Competition
I'm sorry to say, but, eventually, you'll run out of excuses for why the person hasn't chosen you yet. It will hit you, and it will hit you hard.
You'll comprehend that the other person wanting to be with you shouldn't be a want, but a need. Love shouldn't be such a twisted game, and if it is, perhaps the problem is not the competition itself, but the prize you so desperately want.
Some things are simply not worth it. Some things never were, and never will be, yours. And, every time that happens, believe it is the universe protecting you.
It's time to respect yourself enough to walk away from the competition. It's time to stop always being there. It's time to stop picking someone for whom you have to compete, over yourself and everyone else. It's time to find someone, whose decision to be with you won't require a competition or a thought.
That line between determination and desperation? It's time to draw it.