My boyfriend is great. You would like him.
He's charismatic, smart, funny, has a good head on his shoulders and even better hair on his head. For all intents and purposes, I feel pretty good about where this is going.
That being said, my family is OBSESSED with him. They adore him. They always ask about him. They talk about him more than me. It's like, I GET IT, YOU WISH YOU BIRTHED MY BOYFRIEND.
It's a weird spot to be in because everyone's dream is for their significant other to get along with their family members, but sometimes it can feel like they get along TOO WELL.
What about... ya know... me?
Here's what it's like when your family likes your boyfriend more than you.
You sometimes feel like they are more proud of his accomplishments than yours.
It could be because your boyfriend is the newest addition to your family, so maybe their interest is redirected, but DAMN isn't it annoying when your boyfriend gets praised everything they do. Even if they're doing something normal like making the bed or holding a door open for you when YOU were busy nailing a big project that week at work or completing your first half marathon.
You feel like you are competing for their attention.
By the way my family laughs at all of my boyfriend's jokes, you would think he was the first person who ever came up with the phrase, "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
Family meals can quickly turn into THE BOYFRIEND VARIETY SHOW while you're left in the background, eating pigs in a blanket looking at your split ends.
You find out they talk or hang out, even if you're not around.
The first time I found out my parents text my boyfriend without looping me in, my initial reaction was "awww" immediately followed by, "Wait. WTF do you talk about?"
Finding out that your parents have a relationship with your significant other outside of when you bring him around can be alarming and confusing. And now that I think about it... when was the last time my mom texted me?
Your boyfriend knows information about your family before you do.
WOW, is there anything more annoying than being the last person in your family to know something?
Oh. I can think of something. Being the last person to know something BEHIND YOUR BOYFRIEND.
If he ever brings home tidbits about your relatives, upcoming holidays or latest gossip, tell him "boy, bye" and go get some ice cream because that shit is infuriating and you deserve someone who understands you. Like Ben & Jerry.
Your parents give him the "good food," "good beer," "good towel," etc..
This is just a little, sneaky passive aggressive way your family hints that they are more deserving of nice things than you are.
Annoying? Also yes.
Your family always asks what your boyfriend has to say about topics important to you.
Does this sentence sound familiar: "Well what does (insert boyfriend's name) have to say about it?"
It's like, I DON'T KNOW. IT ISN'T HAPPENING TO HIM, SO I DIDN'T ASK.
Valuing your boyfriend's opinion over your own is just another little way your family keeps that chip on your shoulder growing.
If you show up to a family event alone, they always wonder where he is.
God forbid you go anywhere by yourself when your amazing boyfriend could have come with you!
Feeling like a vessel as a means to an end to bringing your boyfriend around is, like, so unfair. Remember a time when YOU USED TO BE GOOD ENOUGH?
What I'm trying to say is... UGH, IT SUCKS TO HAVE SUCH AN AMAZING BOYFRIEND.