Stalking on social media seems to be the new trend for millennial females everywhere. Post-breakup, there is nothing they love more than hopping in their group texts and sharing screenshots of what their ex is up to now and lots of “OMG, did you see whose photo he just liked? Ew.”
Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat... they all make it so easy for anyone to become a private investigator nowadays.
So after a breakup, you may just find yourself sitting in class with the urge to search your ex's name and see how quickly he is moving on.
This is not "The Adventures of Mary Kate and Ashley," and you do not need to crack the code of why he left you.
Here are five reasons why you should put down the magnifying glass and stop being a detective.
1. You'll never move on
Honestly, you're never going to be truly able to move on until you stop lusting over what isn't yours.
You may say you hate him out loud, but when you can't stop thinking about someone to the point you need to obsess over their life, you love them.
And the reality is you can't change someone else's feelings. They're not yours to change. It's time to let go for your own sanity. Stop using your energy on something that is not meant to be.
2. You're destructing your own happiness
Let's say you spend 15 minutes flipping through all of your ex's social media channels.
That is 15 minutes you are concentrating on anger, sadness, frustration or whatever feeling you associate with your breakup.
You may think you are focusing on the happy times, but your breakup is carrying a pain with it.
So, those 15 minutes were wasted on feelings of fear when they could have been used for happiness.
Go spend 15 minutes on Tinder swiping people you think are potential futures, not on your past.
Or better yet, spend 15 minutes talking to someone who makes you happy in real life, not behind a screen.
All social media leaves so much room for misinterpretation.
We've all been there. We've seen a post like “great seeing you last night!” and thought “OMG HE'S CHEATING ON ME! And doing it sloppy, he didn't even tell her to not post on his wall.”
When in reality, he ran into his third cousin at the grocery last night. Think about all the room for misinterpretation with someone you don't even talk to anymore.
4. You're holding on to pain
If you picked up a hot pan out of the stove and it was burning your hand, what would you do with it?
Set it down to avoid third degree burns or continue holding it?
I'm assuming, unless you are a psychopath, you will set it down. Because it will cause physical pain.
If this is such an easy answer with physical pain, why is it so tough with emotional pain? When you spend the time stalking your ex, you are holding on to emotional pain. Delete him off FB, Insta, Snapchat -- all of them -- and drop the hot pan.
OK, if you took none of that to heart, think about this:
How would you feel if you were stalking your ex and he walked up behind you to see his profile?
It would be like someone looking outside their window and seeing you standing there. That is just embarrassing.
Honestly, think about it. It's embarrassing. You are peeking into someone else's life.
Just take a minute, and relieve yourself from all of this, and delete, unfollow and unsubscribe from him!
It will be better for everything in your life! You are holding on for a reason and spending your efforts stalking his life will never get you to the solution. Nothing in this life is permanent, allow yourself to move on and you will see what I mean.