Your hair is matted. There’s dried ice cream at the corner of your mouth. You smell like death.
You watch classic romance movies and drink wine by the bottle. You have 18 missed calls, and the future seems dark.
You and bae broke up again.
Despite everything, you’re not ready to cut your losses.
In the back of your mind, you have a sneaking suspicion he still loves you. You’re just waiting for him to reach out so the two of you can get back together. Again.
Well, it’s game over. The nail is in the coffin. The ship has sailed. The hatchet has been buried.
Perhaps you keep telling yourself he still cares about you. He doesn't.
Don't mistake these signs for caring:
1. He still shoots you a text from time to time.
He doesn’t give a f*ck about you. You need to get that through your head.
Chances are, he’s messaging you because he’s bored, still curious to see how much power he has over you or looking to get his dick wet.
He thinks it may “work” this time, or is a masochistic piece of sh*t who finds it pleasurable to f*ck with your mind and heart as a form of self-indulgent entertainment.
2. His friends say he has mentioned you.
Don’t let that thirsty AF heart fool you otherwise.
I know you want to tell yourself this is a rom-com scenario, where he doesn’t want to admit his true feelings.
But this is not the case.
Did you even bother to ask what he was saying about you? For all you know, he was talking sh*t about you, and here you are, doodling f*cking hearts all over your notebook.
Get yourself together.
He is either talking about you to complain about you or manipulate you.
If you guys have been on and off for a long time, you two have accumulated a lot of memories. So he might have mentioned a trip you once took for five seconds.
3. He tries to flirt with other girls when you’re around.
While we tend to play the same games to get men's attention, chances are, he really just wants to get laid.
In his mind, you’re kind of irrelevant. As far as he’s concerned, he “hit it,” and now, he’s decided to “quit it.”
He just wants to sample the market.
You also need to gain some perspective. Do you really want someone back who is immature enough to try to get some attention by sleeping with someone else?
He just doesn’t care anymore.
It’s hurtful when someone knows everything about you and decides to walk away. It’s debilitating, even. Whether you still have feelings or not, it injures your confidence as much as it does your perception of love.
When someone gives up on you, it gives you a reason to give up on yourself.
You have to remember feelings are irrational, even if you can rationalize them. Don’t let him make you feel small.
I know you’re feeling nostalgic. It’s hard moving on from someone you have so much history with.
You should stop focusing on the fact he doesn’t love you anymore (assuming he ever did) and instead, remind yourself of all the reasons it never worked out in the first place.
Remember, he’s a piece of sh*t, and you’re way out of his league. If your friends aren’t telling you that, it’s time for new friends.
My dad once told me the definition of “insanity” is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result. Don’t let him turn you into a crazy b*tch.
Getting over someone has to be a choice.
It doesn’t feel natural at first. Getting over someone is waking up every day making the decision to do what’s best for you, not what’s best for your ego.
It takes time, and it takes patience.
The truth is, he will have power if you care about him.
Nothing feels worse than when he doesn’t care about you anymore, but nothing feels better than when you love yourself in spite of it.