Stop Playing Games With My Heart: Why No One Wins When Love Is A Game


Don’t text back for at least three hours. You can’t act too eager. Don’t call him when he’s with his friends.

Don’t act like you are too interested because boys don’t like that. You can’t make the first move or initiate anything, that’s desperate.

There are so many can'ts, don’ts and rules you need to remember if you plan on dating in this day and age.

Millennial dating isn’t about connecting or spending time with someone who makes you happy anymore.

It’s like the hunger games weren't realistic enough, so we invented the love games.

The problem with these “love games” is that anyone who plays will ultimately lose. We’re so busy acting aloof and unattainable that we ruin anything potentially great before it even has a chance to get off the ground.

What is the point? Are we so obsessed with power and proving ourselves that we are willing to hurt everyone around us in the process?

A girl actually told me one time that because the guy she was seeing texted her last and she didn’t respond, she had “won.”

What does that even mean?

When did we start caring more about wining games than actually falling in love? Perhaps I should backtrack and ask a different question entirely. Is love no longer an objective of relationships? Has it ever been?

I always thought the point of dating was to be with someone who made you happy. Maybe it is naïve to think that relationships should be different.

I’m not saying every romantic interest you pursue has to be deep and meaningful one. There is absolutely nothing wrong with just having fun.

Your 20s are the ideal time for steamy flings. You are young, full of life, have no kids and no mortgage. By all means, see the world and all it has to offer.

Using people as pawns in order to magnify your own self-worth is not okay.

Let’s be honest: That’s why we like these games. They make us feel important, desirable and in control.

Why do we need this control? Perhaps it has to do with being on the cusp of adulthood, but not quite having it all figured out that makes us power crazy.

So, we control what we can.

I have no interest in manipulating someone to spend time with me.

I want you to choose me over your friends because that is what you would like to do, not because I employed some bizarre psychological warfare that made you fear for your future baby-making prospects.

If you only spend time with me because it is an obligation or the result of a ploy, I’ll pass.

I have no problem texting first, double texting, calling when I feel like it and expressing my interest.

Call me crazy, but I would much rather lay out all my cards than waste my time on silly games.

Maybe it was understandable in high school, but by your 20s, it’s just sad and a little pathetic. Be mature enough to actually say how you feel.

Instead of talking to some random person you have no interest in to make the person you are actually interested in jealous, be with the person you want to be with. Save yourself the headache of the games.

There are never any winners. More often than not, you’ll hurt the people you are playing and you’ll hurt yourself more.

Avoid the contests of who can care less. Be brave enough to speak your mind.

Don’t cloak your motives with weird mind tricks and illusions. It’s not cool to not care, no matter what early Blair Waldorf says.