When I was in middle school, I remember hearing this idea of having a “summer fling.” Obviously, it meant nothing to me at the time because the idea of dating when you're 12 just means that you have some sappy status about your SO in your AIM away message. But now that I am older and have slightly elevated my idea of relationships, this concept of a summer fling does not seem to exist.
That's not to say that flings don't exist, because they most definitely do, but can anyone remember the last time someone said that they were just hoping for or having a summer fling? Because I can't.
This is partially because about 90 percent of dating interactions are just that — flings — and they are not designated to only the warm-weather months. So rather than writing and putting out into the world yet another piece about how dating as we once knew it is dead because of Tinder, Snapchat and the dozens of other social media options, why don't we all just embrace this idea for these next few months?
While yes, the idea of romance or dating has greatly shifted from even what our parents experienced one generation prior, you are not going to get anywhere by just continuously complaining that he waited 25 minutes to respond so that must mean that he does not want to be your husband and you are doomed to a life full of cats and the Lifetime Movie Network.
If you're getting nowhere in terms of nailing down and having a fulfilling romantic relationship because you seem to just end up with string after string of “we're talking” or “we're hanging out” but it never goes beyond that, then maybe it's time that you take a break from obsessing over being someone else's other half and focus on having fun for your already-whole self.
Honestly, what is the worst that can happen? You're not going to miss out on finding everlasting happiness if you loosen your grip on the fixation of finding your soulmate for the approximate 90 days that span between Memorial Day and Labor Day.
There is a common idea that I have heard passed around about how love will find us when we're not looking for it. So if the idea of taking a break from reading stories on howwemet.com and planning your wedding on Pinterest freaks you out beyond belief, then rest your laurels knowing that love can very well find you without ferociously swiping on those dating apps every night.
While I am not saying that you should give up on finding a lifelong partner — if that is what you are after — but we live in an age where we do have so many options and one of those options is yourself. There is no shame in choosing yourself over everyone else (maybe not all the time, because then you would be a narcissist with no friends but in this context, choose yourself right now).
You will never get to shore swimming against the current. Maybe whatever higher power you believe in is trying to tell you that now is not the right time to meet that special someone and riding the waves is what you should be doing. Whatever it is that makes you happy is how you should spend your time, and I doubt lamenting over “what could have been” with your third Tinder date that week is what brings you happiness.
Give yourself a break and enjoy a summer full of flings or without a single fling at all. Stop being hyper-focused on what you don't have, and relish in celebrating what is already in your life. What better time to do that than the season where flings first began?