Don't Get Mad, Get Better: Why The Best Way To Get Revenge After A Breakup Is To Grow From It

by Erika Stern

We’ve all been there — there was the long relationship that lost its spark, the two-month relationship that just wasn’t going to work, the hookup that you stupidly believed would turn into a full-fledged love story. You let yourself care more than you initially intended, and now you’re waiting for a text or a call that's simply never going to come — at least not right now.

It seems as thought there’s nothing left to do than hang out with your real boyfriends, Ben & Jerry, and watch Nicholas Sparks movies. But don't go and tweet about it, don't un-friend him on Facebook and do not, under any circumstance, drunk text him about the gem he lost — show him.

If you have mutual friends and you seem him out one night, don’t ignore him. Say hello casually, not dramatically. Then, do your own thing for the rest of the night. Dance, take an extra shot at the bar and stay collected. Trash talking him to your friends is probably the most pathetic choice you can make when you’re out — and since you’re in public, your words are likely to spread quickly.

If you know prior to going out that he will be where you are going, wear the red dress that shows a bit more cleavage than you would normally show. Be confident in yourself and pay him the most minimal amount of attention possible. You are likely to feel (and come across) sexier if you maintain a high level of dignity.

Maintain your dignity on social media as well; tweet happy thoughts, not depressing messages about how angry you are about how things worked out with him. If he has no way of knowing that you’re hurt, he will possess much less power over your thoughts. You won’t be able to imagine how he’s reacting to how you feel if you know he doesn’t know how you feel. Allow him to assume that you’re happy.

If you find yourself drunk texting him (or even thinking about drunk texting him), do yourself a favor and delete his number — plain and simple. He's just not worth the data.

Tread lightly when working to make him feel jealous. Don't sleep with, flirt with or even dance with his friends because it’s only going to come across as immature. Ultimately, his friends have his back, and you’re going to feel even lower when they pick him over you. Don't "accidentally" send him a Snapchat of your new outfit that was “supposed to” go to your best friend.

If you feel that you absolutely need to make him feel jealous, dance with a random guy in front of him, or better yet, dance alone. Confidence is so effortlessly sexy.

When he sees that you're doing just fine — even excelling — without him, he may come back to you, or he may not. In some situations, it’s okay to grant someone a second chance, but if you're completely over it, stay over it. Working to be the best, most independent version of you is vital to getting over an ex. Eventually, you’ll start to realize that you never truly needed him. By doing your own thing and creating your own happiness, you’ll become the best he’ll never have.

Photo credit: We Heart It