The Dating Dilemma: Why All Men Seem To Be Too Shy Or Too Pushy
I always hold true to my opinion: Men and women are simple in that they both want to love and be loved, whether that means a serious relationship or a booty call. We all just want some TLC.
However, I've recently been in situations that have led me to conclude that men can be classified into two categories. Correct me if I'm wrong, gentlemen.
Men are either shy or persistent, so it's no wonder women are having a hard time cracking the dating game.
We like to read guys and get their vibes and feelings straight before things move forward because, let's face it: Every girl likes her fair share of relationship control.
Don't get me wrong; there is nothing wrong with a guy who is a little shy. In fact, it can be irresistibly attractive. Women like that flair of innocence because dealing with assh*les gets old after a while and we want a change.
Being shy gives men an advantage: You're honest, simple and have good intentions. Bam! You're like Prince Charming... give or take.
There are complications, however, with being shy. I know a guy who fulfills almost every one of my requirements. But, I get tired of waiting around for him to gain enough courage to start a conversation to allow me to pick up on his vibes, personality and character.
As much as women like to figure guys out, we can't read minds. We are very good at throwing ourselves down a hole of "what ifs" that eventually end with, "He's just not that into me."
The biggest problem with shy men is they have a hard time letting women know how they feel, verbally and otherwise. Lack of self-esteem or fear of rejection tells us they're just not interested in getting to know us or even dating us.
I'll never know if Shy Guy is amused with my cheesy punchlines or sarcastic humor. I'll forever be stuck in the awkward friend-zone while I wait for him to pick up his balls and make a move.
On the other hand, all single women know about the persistent dude, too. He hits on you at the bar, at the bus stop, at Whole Foods and he doesn't even stop there.
Texts, Facebook pokes, comments and emoticons flood your news feed and phone almost daily.
At first, you think it's hot because it's sure as hell different from Shy Guy, but the mystery soon wears off. Why? Because Persistent Dude knows what he wants and will make damn sure you understand it from the get-go.
Sex is generally his end goal and the fact that his whole personality oozes, "I will eventually f*ck you," is a fairly big turn-off because it's so obvious. Where the hell is the mystery in that?
Sure, sex can and will eventually happen — most of us aren't saving ourselves —, but where is the balance?
Women still want to be flattered and dated. The problem with Shy Guy and Persistent Dude is they both fall on the extreme ends of the timeline.
We're still stuck waiting in the middle for a guy who doesn't need a bag to breathe in at the thought of seeing us naked and a guy who doesn't start the conversation with, "So, you wanna come over?"
Where's the normal, in-the-middle guy?!
Somewhere out there, I hope.
So, here is some advice for men: Conversations are best when they're simple. We can smell fear from a mile away. (What's there to be afraid of, anyway?) Honesty is the best thing you can bring to the table.
Be you, whoever that is. Even if you walk away from a date with no luck, at least you walked away as the same man. There's respect in that.