What are the most common complaints we hear from women in regard to dating and relationships?
We know the usual suspects:
“He doesn't listen.” “He's selfish in bed.” “He isn't romantic or sensitive enough.” “Sometimes I think he'd rather be with his friends than with me.” “He takes me for granted.”
Now, this must be happening on a molecular level. Generations come and generations go, yet these common complaints never disappear, so it must be biological. Any psychologist worth a salt will tell you that men and women are intrinsically different and to believe otherwise is not only folly but also depressingly counterproductive. If one sex can't accept that the other is different, there's always going to be a frustrating disconnect.
So rather than futilely battling nature, let's just embrace these differences. After we've come to terms with our inherent contrasts, it's easier to find “the one.”
And ladies, in your valiant search of the perfect partner, I would recommend pursuing the introverted male. Why? Because despite the fact that we men are different, the introvert is far more likely to satisfy the female mind … and body. No, really.
Look up there. See those complaints? OK, now let's assess. The first step would be to read this Huffington Post article that dispels the most common — and most erroneous — stereotypes surrounding the introvert. Once you've got that out of your system, look at what the introvert really is.
The introvert is an observer, a listener, someone who tends to be more cautious by nature, an individual who doesn't require constant external influences to feel fulfilled and a partner who will dive beneath the surface. Introverts tend to dig deeper and care less about the trivial and cosmetic. There are in fact documented benefits to this supposed "affliction."
Is the introvert more sensitive and automatically better in bed? Well, no, we won't make that leap. But what's interesting about this topic is that, in my experience, introverts can be extroverts in certain situations. In fact, many people have taken to calling themselves “extroverted introverts,” which isn't as much of an oxymoron as you might believe.
Often, introverted males are just waiting for an excuse to throw off the tackles and “emote,” as it were. Give 'em a chance and watch the fireworks. It's not impossible. For this to happen, they have to feel confident and safe and, correct me if I'm wrong, ladies, but is that not precisely how you want to feel, too?
The extroverted man is more likely to have a lot of friends, perhaps even more likely to have bad habits (due to excessive partying and experimentation). He might exhibit more type-A or alpha male traits, which can result in failure to listen, to care and even to respect. The extrovert is doing more often than he is thinking, so he's less of an observer and as such, maybe less likely to notice your signals or gestures. An introvert might not always react to your signals, but trust me, he sees them.
What boggles the mind, however, is how quickly women dismiss the introvert. When people start throwing out the dating questions and relationship questions, one thing becomes abundantly clear: Women are still leery of the guys who aren't confident, but who can actually be by themselves without totally wigging out.
If you give him a chance, you might find in him the man you've always dreamed of. Mr. Right could be sitting there by himself, maybe a little intimidated, but potentially the most attentive, respectful, caring, sensitive guy you'll ever meet. And you know, the more comfortable he gets with you, the more the confidence will flow and then ultimately, you'll get the best of both worlds.
As a small disclaimer, I should add that dating an introvert will present you with a series of fresh challenges. If you're an extroverted girl, maybe you aren't sufficiently prepared, and you might be surprised at what you find. That being said, many introverts will claim that it's a risk you should take because the rewards are well worth the effort.
We all want to give the eligible women out there the same sales pitch:
“Had your fill of the party guys who spend three-quarters of their lives in bars or their man caves, yelling at the TV with a dozen friends? Tired of guys treating you like a piece of furniture unless you're naked? Sick of men who only hear every fifth word? We, the introverted, are the necessary tonic, so give us a try.”