Tips To Start A Relationship That'll Last Even After Cuffing Season
Contrary to popular belief, some of us do still believe in courtship and chivalry.
I think I can speak for a lot of girls when I say I expect to go on proper dates, regardless of the "situationship" I'm currently in.
As the final weeks of 2016's cuffing season come to a close, I find myself wondering if anybody even cares about dating anymore.
I know I do.
Our generation is capable of love and even old-fashioned dating common sense, but we do have a horrible habit of limiting ourselves and settling.
Since we subconsciously settle, we end up in situationships instead of real, long-lasting relationships.
We're too worried about how we appear to the opposite sex and too worried about catching feelings and being vulnerable. And by the way, feelings aren't bad things. You're a human being, not a damn robot.
So for all my hopeless romantics looking for love to end the year with, I'm here to keep it real with you and to help you.
Here are six tips for creating a good, long-lasting relationship this cuffing season:
1. Don't date someone who invites you to his house or the club.
I mean, I think this one is pretty self-explanatory.
If your first date is at his house, I hate to break it to you, but it's not really a date. It's him trying to get laid.
And if your first date is at the club, it's also not really a date. It's them making it seem like a date because you'll be in public. But really, they just hope you'll get drunk and end up back at their apartment.
2. Don't fool yourself — "Netflix and chill" doesn't count as a date.
There is no such thing as a "pre-date" or an "invitation" to Netflix and chill.
A guy who's serious about you will respect you enough to treat you like a human being and an actual young woman who deserves at least the two-for-one special at Chili's.
3. You should play hard to get.
But you shouldn't do it to the point of someone wanting to give up on you. Then, it's just obnoxious.
Men like the chase, so let him lead and let him chase you. But remember, if you're making the chase too difficult, he might give up.
Also, if you're playing hard to get that much, chances are, you don't really care about this guy. So just tell him that, and let everyone move on.
4. Let him pick up the tab.
Until you're in an actual relationship, you shouldn't be expected to pay for the date (unless you want to, of course).
However, I would say, between dates three and six, you can properly assess how serious this guy is about you.
If it seems like he's in this for the long haul, start covering small things for him. For example, if he takes you ice skating, buy him a cup of hot chocolate. Guys like thoughtfulness, and if you think he has potential, this will definitely signal to him that things can go a bit further.
5. Communicate from the start.
Be unapologetically honest about what you want from him.
If you're just trying to have a fling until the end of cuffing season, the level of communication doesn't matter much. But if you want to go on dates, meet his family, get a Christmas present and last for a long time, you need to communicate those intentions from the start.
Let him know your standards and values, and of course, don't jump to conclusions about his own wishes.
6. If you notice any red flags, end it.
Trust your gut.
I'm all about giving guys the benefit of the doubt, but tread lightly if you're noticing things you don't like early on.
For example, the fact he may have voted for Trump or only sees women as objects means he probably doesn't want to date you — he just wants to add you to his winter roster.
By all means, if you just want a cuddle buddy for the winter, ignore everything I said. But if you're trying to find a real, lasting relationship, always listen to your instincts.