You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen

Here's What Your Cuddling Position Reveals About Your Relationship

From the strength of your connection to what the future might hold.

by Candice Jalili
Originally Published: 
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I don't care if you're totally in love and happy or questioning your relationship entirely, there's always a part of you that's going to wonder where things are going. Obviously, you can sit at home analyzing all the hypothetical outcomes of your relationship with your bestie, or you can pay attention to the little acts of love that occur in your relationship daily. Analyzing your cuddling positions can be a fun way to interpret what’s going on in your relationship at any given moment. And it can also be a great way to understand where your relationship is at right now.

Cuddling might not happen at the beginning stages of your relationship, but over time it can be a great way to reconnect with your partner. You don't have to fall asleep cuddling to interpret these cuddling types. If there's no way you can fall asleep while being touched, pay attention to the way you and your S.O. reach for each other during movie night or in the morning when you just woke up.

While the sources below reference cuddling positions involving men and women, they can work for any couple, regardless of gender, and the significance of each pose stays the same no matter what. Check out what experts say about these cuddling position types, and what they can reveal about the intimacy of your relationship right now.

Cuddling On Your Backs With Your Head On His Chest

Kylah Benes-Trapp

This is a solid dynamic that's bound to work for you guys forever. As for you, you depend on him and feel your safest when your head is resting on his chest. And him? He's OK with his arm falling asleep and his chest getting crushed, just so it means he can keep you safe and comfortable.

“This is an intimate position,” explains Melanie Icard, NMD, a naturopathic medical doctor specializing in sex and relationships. “Intimacy is experiencing connection in the present moment but it’s beyond connection and beyond the present. Mutual adoration is a nice place to exist in with your partner. This cuddling position is very adoring and creates safe loving space,” she adds.

See what I mean? This dynamic works. Anytime you need to feel safer, he'll be there, and what's more? He'll be more than happy to be there.

Cuddling While Facing Each Other And Intertwined

Kylah Benes-Trapp

Oh, baby, this is the beginning of a beautiful romance. Patti Wood, body language expert and author of SNAP: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma, says, “It means your lives are intertwined, that you function as a pair. You probably finish each other's sentences and take care of each other.”

In terms of your future, there's two ways this could go. On one hand, this might be a new relationship, and you're at the beginning of the "honeymoon" phase.

What does that mean for the future? You'll probably eventually transition to a less hot-and-heavy stage and have a more comfortable-and-stable bond. This isn't a bad thing, though! It just means you're doing a good job of developing a friendship on top of your steamy romance (making your relationship strong AF).

On the other hand, if you two have been together for a while, and you're still totally dependent on each other, we could be looking at some trouble.

Now, it's great you’re so head over heels in love all these years later. But eventually, one of you is going to want to do some self-discovery outside of this relationship. That might mean prioritizing inner reflection, spending a little less time glued together, or even a breakup.

Cuddling When You’re The Big Spoon

Kylah Benes-Trapp

You just can't get enough of them, so even when their back is facing you, you hold on tight. Eventually, your need to always be near your partner is going to come back around to bite you. Why? Well, you simply can't always be holding onto your partner, whether while you're asleep or awake.

“The important thing about cuddling is to enjoy it and feel the love,” says Dr. Icard. No matter what, Dr. Icard says to do what feels best for you in the moment, noting that this position is a very intimate one. “I like to alternate between big spoon and little spoon and any other imaginable position as long as all parties involved are comfortable,” she says.

If you can't let go of your need to constantly be with and sometimes even control your partner, you could end up driving them away.

Cuddling When You’re The Little Spoon

Kylah Benes-Trapp

If you're the little spoon with your guy's arms wrapped around you, you have a freaking solid relationship.

Wood describes this position as the most "vulnerable" of cuddling positions, as his hips are pressed right up against your body. The fact that you're able to relax in his arms shows you really, really trust him, which is huge.

Life will obviously throw you curveballs, because that's just the way it goes, but there really is nothing the two of you can't overcome. Your relationship is as strong as it gets.

Facing Away With Your Butts Touching

Kylah Benes-Trapp

This looks bad, I know. But I swear it's not really a bad thing! In fact, I'd go so far as to say it's the definition of couple goals.

Wood explains that this position simply means the two of you are committed to keeping a sexual connection while still maintaining your independence.

You two aren't that new, hot-and-heavy couple all wrapped up in each other's bodies. You've accepted the fact that cuddling is hot and sweaty, and you also don't want to be facing each other's morning breath.

The two of you are bound to spend a lifetime totally connected while you still manage to watch each other grow as individuals. If you aren't already married, I would bet a solid amount of money you will be eventually.

Not Cuddling Or Touching At All

Kylah Benes-Trapp

Sex expert Tracey Cox calls this position the "pre-divorce" or "post-argument" position. Needless to say, that's not looking too good for the future of your relationship.

If you and your love are going to bed so angry, you can barely even touch each other, odds are, we're looking at the beginning of the end.


Tracey Cox, sex expert

Patti Wood, body language expert

Melanie Icard is a naturopathic medical doctor specializing in sex and relationships.

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