Why Chivalry Is Dead, From A Woman's Perspective

by Aksa Manzer

It’s funny how easily some men come to blame women for being the sole reason for the death of chivalry. Somehow, women of the world congregated and decided to put an end to being treated with respect, care and love. Sounds plausible, right?

For some, chivalry encompasses the most desired qualities a woman seeks in a man. It doesn’t matter who she is, or from which background she comes, every woman desires a Prince Charming. A realistic perspective would uphold that the lack of chivalry in our modern culture is not entirely to blame upon men or women. At some point, both sexes must have felt that chivalry was less than vital. I blame it on cyber culture.

It seems that many people find dating and relationships to be overrated. It’s simpler to communicate with someone over text and then just booty call, or for the truly lazy, just ask for a Snapchat. And if for some reason, this doesn’t work, the guy’s ego emerges unscathed. From behind a screen, prospects are limitless.

What girl wouldn’t enjoy being taken out for dinner? Who isn’t interested in a guy who will buy her flowers and chocolates, a guy who will open the car door for her, a guy who will open any door for her, a guy who will take long walks with her, a guy who will watch the sunset with her? Most girls fantasize about this chivalrous gem.

Some girls do present a challenge, but why do guys consistently fail to rise to the occasion? Many guys are lazy and want the easy way out, so they seek to exert the least amount of effort. If it’s possible for them to achieve what they want so easily, why work for a challenging girl? Because of this, women feel pressured to act a certain way in order to feel loved and special. They realize that having high expectations will only parlay to disappointment. Sometimes, they begrudgingly cave into hookup culture, but the guys will proceed to play the game with other girls. Eventually, caving into his game makes it her game as well.

The most important idea to note is that despite some girls being totally okay with the dating landscape today (or lack thereof), not all girls feel the same way. Just because you may identify some girls who have a certain disposition, they do not represent the entire population of women. There are multitudes of women who have navigated broken hearts, but are still searching for a soul mate. Despite the conformity to hookup culture that many women have indulged, I believe that most are hopeless romantics at heart.

Any guy who thinks that a one-night stand is just a one-night stand is an idiot. Women do not forget one-night stands. Whether or not the guy spends time pondering how he has affected the girl, he affected the girl.

Constantly, men objectify women and get away with it. From checking her out, to winking at her, to making derogatory comments, it happens all the time. What ever happened to “Hey my name is… Could I take you out for dinner sometime?” Why get to know someone when you can just cut to the chase and get what you really want?

I don’t know when or how this became acceptable, but unfortunately, it has. And it’s a two-way street on which men and women are both guilty. But, the men who blame women for being the reason for the demise of chivalry need a reality check. They are overlooking the oppressive behavior that has caused many women to adjust their expectations of men. Too many believe they will only be acknowledged if they adjust, which is just a form of emotional manipulation.

The real problem is that both men and women have revolutionized the concept of dating in our modern hookup culture. In a sense, it doesn’t matter how we got here, but many of the realities for which the landscape allows are detrimental to the ways in which we communicate interpersonally and intimately.

Photo credit: Titanic