The extent of cheating in Generation-Y relationships has hit an all time high. The reasoning that someone cheats because they are a bad person has become a notion of the past. People commit infidelity for two reasons: sexual and emotional desire. To understand and come to grips with this phenomenon, it’s helpful to ask what actually motivates our sex drive.
By nature, people are not meant to be monogamous and by engaging in these relationships they are setting themselves up for disaster. Sexual desire inspires much of what we do, if not all of it. It’s a battle between what the body and the mind want, and when push comes to shove what the body wants will most likely come out on top, or bottom, whichever you prefer.
Evolution is the basis on which life was built upon and at the root is the act of sex itself. The idea of sex being used as a tool to reproduce is where the desire to cheat stems from. While there is a certain extent to which biological factors play a role in infidelity, they cannot take all the blame. As a culture we are expected to curb certain behaviors and adhere to societal expectations.
When it comes to decision-making about love, logic and reason tend to take a back seat and allow emotions to take control. If problems are an ever-present factor in a relationship, cheating becomes inevitable. When the passion is missing, deception offers a way to fill that void. Betrayal is usually unintentional and results after your unhappiness mixes with some nice, strong tequila.
Self-restraint and will power cannot be trusted in situations of opportunity. The only way not to succumb to the allure of another is to remove yourself from these types of situations and honestly, where’s the fun in that? Many people are not willing to give up a life of partying to appease their partner; this is when cheating can and most often times do occur. By engaging in this kind of behavior, sexual opportunities are plentiful, making them difficult to turn down.
Besides ample opportunity, what else drives a person into the arms of another? In detrimental relationships one partner may feel as if they are losing their sense of identity and resort to cheating to regain some sort of control. I personally have seen this all too often in my past relationships so I can relate to what a slippery slope this truly is. It is difficult to admit, but cheating offers a false sense of empowerment.
The initial rush of lust felt at the beginning of a new partnership can be the most intense phase and as your relationship progresses in and out of the honeymoon stage you are often left to wonder, is this it? This early stage is what people yearn for, which results in cheating.
If problems are an ever-present factor in a relationship ,cheating becomes inevitable. Something is missing and cheating offers a way to fill the void. As people become unhappy in their relationship, they tend to look for other vices to make them happy. I mean, honestly, how many times has cheating been the result of a fight or argument?
Most infidelity occurs, not because it is premeditated but because people find themselves in situations where their emotions engulf them. Temptation is a dirty mistress that many have trouble turning away. Boredom and complacency is the enemy to monogamy, so switch it up in the bedroom so your partner’s eyes don’t start to wander.
After taking into account all of these factors, do you think you could forgive a cheater? I have cheated and been cheated on on multiple occasions and never once has that been the end to the relationship. It probably helps that I can bullshit my way out of anything, but that’s beside the point.
As you get older you realize that the act of cheating is not black and white. If you are open and honest with your partner about the affair, I believe it is completely possibly to work past the issue. Of course it won’t be easy, but as long as both partners are willing to put forth the time and effort it is achievable.
The need for sex is one of life’s most fundamental desires, so it should come as no surprise that this drives many of our actions. We crave emotional connection and when you’re not getting it from where you should be, well, we all know where that will lead you. The only way to prevent infidelity in a relationship is to maintain a sincere level of happiness where both people feel wanted, respected and beloved.
Ashley Fern | Elite.