As a woman living in LA, who worked in the music industry, I tend to have a biased view on cheating. That view being that everyone does it.
I’ve been propositioned by all types of married and otherwise committed men and have seen married friends, colleagues and clients have multiple affairs. In general, our culture is getting used to cheating.
With so many marriages ending because of infidelity, the shock and awe once associated with cheating has faded. We see the headlines announcing celebrity couples ending things because one cheated and no one is surprised.
Let’s be honest: It would be more surprising if couples were faithful.
Cheating and getting caught is one thing, but the method in which people go about the act of infidelity fascinates me. These are the five types of cheaters I’ve encountered:
1. The Wreck
This type of cheater is normally young and reckless. Somewhere along the line, this person learned to disregard the notion that he or she will have to deal with the consequence of his or her actions.
All this cheater knows is that he or she has sexual needs that need to be filled. This person is not looking for an affair — just a one-night stand, in which anyone will do.
2. The Liar
This cheater must have left his or her ring at home. This person pretends to be single and lies about being married.
If you ask about it, he or she will deny. This cheater likes the chase and gets off on the thrill of not getting caught.
But, he or she doesn’t care about getting caught because the opposite sex is like a conquest to this person.
He or she will sell the dream to the person with whom he or she is cheating, as if they're dating and the cheater is even available.
3. The Strategist
The strategist knows that there are repercussions for his or her actions, so this person looks to build long-term relationships with targets. He or she will tell you the truth from the very beginning and suggest that you be friends.
This cheater will make you think he or she can take care of you, but occasionally, he or she will want to have sex.
This cheater doesn’t have sex with just anyone, though. If he or she chooses you, you’re special. This person will only have this relationship if he or she trusts you because getting caught is out of the question.
If there’s trust and a friendship built, you’re less likely to tell his or her spouse.
4. The Invested
The invested cheater is having a full-on, long-term and emotional affair. This person is honest about his or her marriage and the fact that he or she is not happy in it.
This cheater lives a double life — the one with his or her spouse and family and the one he or she has with you.
The invested doesn’t want to get caught and will convince you that you’ll one day be together.
5. The Co-Conspirator
"Hi, I’m Rob and I’d like you to meet my wife." Rob and his wife go out and look for girls together. Usually, they’re a higher profile couple, where the wife knows her husband has access to a lot of women.
In an effort to control the situation and a potential emotional connection, Rob's wife is involved in the process. The cheating is purely sexual and she sometimes participates. They have an arrangement, but that arrangement can go wrong.
There are millions of reasons why people cheat: They’re not happy, they have needs, they need validation, or maybe, they have fallen for someone else.
No matter the reason, the way in which cheaters go about it doesn’t get enough attention.
Does this type of cheating determine why only 17 percent of marriages end in divorce when far more people are out there cheating? Maybe it's because only the reckless and the liars are getting caught.