It's really hard to find love with the right person for you isn't it? It can feel overwhelming to know what you should be doing, and there is a lot of conflicting advice out there.
Do you need more information? Do you need to learn the exact right formula for what to say to your crush? Do you need a makeover? Are you picking the wrong matches?
This dating and relationship game is complicated. Most of us will not succeed at anything that feels too complicated to us, but we have good news for you. It doesn't have to be complicated if you adopt a specific mindset. To be successful, there is always a certain framework you'll have to follow.
We have worked with many clients in helping them find lasting love, and we have all of them adopt this framework immediately. We have found that the simpler we can make the dating process, the more dating success and happy marriages we see.
If you want to find love with the right person, there are two factors you need to track in order to ensure your success: your calendar and your bank account or spending habits
This might seem strange to you that we are recommending the first thing you do when trying to find your soulmate is to do an inventory of your calendar and your spending, but here's why it's so important.
Most people believe they aren't finding the right person because they're on the wrong dating site, picking the wrong matches, aren't coming across the right people, the right person is intimidated by them or they need to learn the right thing to say at the right time etc. However, these aren't your main challenges in love.
The real reasons most people aren't finding their perfect match come down to two categories: behavioral and emotional. They have very little to do with outside circumstances. Most obstacles to finding love are internal, not external.
It's the same with succeeding in saving money, losing weight or advancing your career. Your main obstacles are emotional and behavioral and have very little to do with outside events. You don't need more information to do any of these things successfully. What you need is a framework to get you to take the right actions consistently until you succeed.
This can be quite a relieving revelation; you no longer have to worry about all the other stuff.
To find lasting love with the right person for you, do an inventory of and track both your calendar and your spending.
Look at your calendar:
Have you scheduled time to join an online dating site? To read through profiles of potential matches? To reach out to potential matches? To respond to messages from those matches? To go to meetups or to activities you enjoy where you could possibly meet someone? Do you have time set aside to go on dates? To chat with matches on the phone? To work out? Get a great haircut? If it's not on your calendar, it's not a priority and you're not on the right path.
Track your spending:
Are you investing in yourself when it comes to dating? Are you investing in great fitting clothes that you feel sexy in? Are you going to get your haircut from an expert who can tell you how you look best? Are you investing in going to meetups or doing activities where you could meet people? Are you investing in upgrading your dating or love skills? Do you need to read a book or take a course in flirting or communication? We aren't talking about spending lots of money; we are talking about spending small amounts of money on yourself when it comes to your love life. If you aren't investing in yourself when it comes to love, you're not on the right path.
Why is this so important?
Taking these two steps and tracking them consistently will ensure you overcome any emotional or behavioral obstacles to finding love. Adopting this framework will help you push through any discomfort, and will make it hard for you to procrastinate on doing the critical actions you need to take to find your match.
It will help you see when you've been coming up short or haven't been committed to success. It will point you in the right direction every time. To find the right person for you, all you need to do is make sure you are scheduling your critical actions and investing in yourself when it comes to dating.
Dr. Ashley and Dr. Michael Arn are dating and relationship experts and happily married to each other. They are former relationship experts at eHarmony and Co-Founders of Date to Soul Mate.
Get their Free Guide to Finding, Attracting and Becoming Soul Mates with The Right Person for You here: www.datetosoulmate.com.