Love: It's a word that famous poets, ancient philosophers, popular musicians and passionate people around the world either dread or desire. More often than not, however, their rhymes and rhythms come with a sting.
Love can be just as lethal as it is lively because of its ability to end in pain. That's the thing: No matter who you are, heartbreak is a reality. I come with good news, however: One of the greatest opportunities to figure out who we really are comes in the wake of a breakup or a heartbreak.
If there were no heartbreak, some of the greatest songs ever written might not even exist.
You might not see it now because you are blinded by your pain. Like Clark Kent turns into Superman, your true self can be revealed through this hardship. Let me tell you why.
1. You Will be Thankful
There will be a time when you will look back and be thankful that certain people, opportunities and things were removed from your life because you would have never found yourself had you not lost them.
Sometimes, we get so caught up worrying about what we lost, rather than realizing what we are gaining in its absence.
2. It Is A Wake-Up Call
You know when you are so dead in your sleep, that not even a thunderstorm can wake you? Sometimes it takes somebody to physically shake you in order to wake you up.
Well, meet heartbreak, your personal shaker-upper. For a while, you might be upset that it perturbed you, but ultimately, it is a good thing it woke you up because that life storm was about to eradicate you while you slept.
Now, your eyes are open. You are aware of your surroundings. So take a good look around the room because it might be time to do some rearranging.
3. Many Things Are Seasonal
Even if the love did not last, it prepared you for the one that will. The truth is, you WILL be sad to see your ex go, but you will be happy you finally get to move on.
The rejections in your life make room for more opportunities. The person who turned you down is only propelling you toward the person who will snatch you up!
Some people might only be temporary, but the lessons they teach you will last forever. Not everyone is meant to remain permanently in your life. We can't force anyone to stay.
I am not saying you should not work at a relationship during the trials that may ensue. I am saying that, like a transition from fall to winter, one thing ends so another beautiful thing can begin.
Trying to stick leaves back on a tree when it's no longer the proper season is not going to make it fall again -- and you have to accept that.
4. You Are Still Loved
I have seen way too many people lose sleep, profusely vomit and even get suicidal thoughts over heartbreak. Although it hurts, never forget about the love you DO have in your life by focusing on the love you do not.
Why substitute the loss of love from one source for the 10,000 sources you still have? Sure, maybe it is not romantic love you want right now, but who says we need romantic love to feel loved all the time?
Don’t feel like you need approval from one specific person to find value or love in your life. There are so many other sources of love.
Most importantly, do not forget about the most crucial source of all: yourself. Find that value within you because self-love and self-approval are irreplaceable.
5. It Will Make You Brave
One of the most daring things you can do is to let go of what is hurting you. Sometimes in life, we have to surrender and simply accept that the past is behind us.
Stop asking how the pain will end; instead, focus on what it taught you. Reevaluate what is truly important to you and move on. Let your past make you better, not bitter. Will it be easy? Hell no, but it will be so worth it.
You might not have realized it before, but that person who broke your heart might have been acting as a safety net for you. He or she might have been shielding you from becoming everything you are meant to be.
Now is your chance to steal your show back. Be you, and be free.
6. Alone Doesn’t Mean Lonely
Be brave enough to walk alone, and don’t be scared to like it. This is the time in your life to walk with your head held high. You are allowed to set boundaries, and you are allowed to say see ya later to anyone who doesn't respect them, without apology.
Never feel guilty for being single, and don't feel like just because you are single, you have to be prepping to be in a relationship anytime soon.
You do not need a significant other to lead a significant life. You are never completely alone, as long as you are true to the person in the mirror.
7. You Loved
We all know the saying, “It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all.” Sounds cliché, but to me, it holds true. Loving is always a risk, but it is an even bigger risk not to love.
Even though I came out hurt, I grew and I learned. I love a little differently each and every time. Each love is a new love and a learning experience.
Maybe, on some distant planet lightyears away, love might not even exist. Those of us who are lucky enough to love at all should milk it for everything it is worth. Loving in itself is truly a gift.
8. You Will Learn To Be Patient
One time, in a two-hour line for a roller coaster, I decided to chat with the people in front of me. To this day, I still reflect on that conversation and think of it as one of the best conversations I ever had.
Some of the best things in life happen in the in-between, the waiting process. Had I just hopped on the roller coaster right away, maybe I wouldn’t have enjoyed it as much. Perhaps, I would not have been ready. At the very least, I would not have made an incredible memory.
What we learn, what we become and what we experience is sometimes even more important than for what or whom we are actually waiting. There is a purpose behind everything you are going through; the land of in-between could be where you find that purpose.
As humans, we are faced with a choice: We can either stick to the past and miss out on our future, or we can do our best to accept circumstances as they are and press on to a brighter tomorrow. If you ask me, the latter option sounds a lot more appealing.
You cannot always control what happens to you, but you can control what you do with it. I know it hurts, but you can and WILL make it. Your wounds will make you wiser. One day, you can help someone else like I hope I just did for you.
Take your strength back from the person who hurt you, and rip off your disguise, super person. It is time to show the world who you are becoming. No more looking for a hero -- you are one.