For many, the emotional pain associated with breakups can be equated to someone running over your chest with a bulldozer. Of course, some people take breakups harder than others -- everyone handles them differently -- but we can all agree they're never easy.
Maybe you cope by eating junk food, or with binge-watching seasons on Netflix, or hammering down shots at the bar or curling up in a ball in tears. These are just temporary distractions. The reality is, breakups are a lot like passing a kidney stone.
There really isn't anything you can do to magically make the grieving process disappear -- you just have to go through it.
It's hard to even imagine feeling better when your heart is broken. But I find meditating on the future can be helpful, especially when you're struggling to see the sunshine on the horizon.
Rest assured, there are some really euphoric feelings at the end of a breakup that are so worth looking forward to:
Relief that the pain is over.
They don't call it heartache for nothing. It may be emotional pain related to the end of your relationship, but it can get intense enough that it almost feels physical.
The good news is, when you're finally over your breakup, it will be like you never felt anything at all. No ache in the heart, no desire to shed tears endlessly. Just like that, all of those crappy feelings will cease to exist.
And when that day finally comes, you will feel nothing but relief that it's all over.
A feeling that a weight has been lifted.
A breakup is a heavy load to bear on the mind and body. You will spend your waking hours thinking about what went wrong. Your emotions will come in an ever-changing variety pack.
When you're finally over your breakup, it will feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. It will literally feel like someone took off a giant backpack you've been carrying. Your body will feel rested, and your mind will be in a calmer place.
Peace after a storm.
You will learn to value the peace that you feel after the heartache has dissipated. It will feel unlike any peace that you have encountered before because the hurt from your wounds will still be fresh in your mind.
You will remember how it felt to be broken and relish the fact that your heart and mind are now at ease.
The satisfaction of realizing you will get what you deserve.
After spending so much time dwelling on how you were betrayed or contemplating what went wrong, you will realize that no matter the circumstances, it wasn't for you.
The silver lining here is now you're opening yourself to receive exactly what you're really looking for. That relationship may not have worked out the way you wanted, but now you can meet someone who will be more aligned with your future.
The excitement of a new start.
When you're finally ready to move on, you'll remember there's no greater rush than the excitement associated with meeting a potential new someone.
Call me cliché all you like, but I feel all of the stomach turns and heart flips when I meet a guy I really like. There's no shame in feeling psyched about a new beginning. I'd argue those feelings that make you gush when you're seeing someone are good for you.
But what's really amazing about starting over, of course, are all the wonderful possibilities that can come about in the future. Forget about the lame relationship you left behind, and focus on how much better things will be now that you're rid of those problems.