My dear readers, your love life may not be written in the stars, but the way you get over love may just be.
Now, I don't know a whole lot about a whole lot. But breakups? Oh, I know ALL about them. I wouldn't have made it through my own had it not been for music. And not just any old music, either, but songs that really spoke to me.
You know what I'm talking about. There's nothing like a song that sounds like it was literally written for you. It's like the artist went through exactly what you went through you, just as heart-shattering and life-changing. The only difference is that this person happens to be world-famous.
What it comes down to is this: Our zodiac signs say we're all different from each other. Each of us follows a different road to recovery. For my Libra self, for example, a Taylor Swift playlist was exactly what I needed, but she may not be for you. Read on to find out what the perfect song to listen to after a breakup -- whether you're the dumper or dumpee (Happy Valentine's Day!).
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18): "Send My Love To Your New Lover" by Adele
If you're an Aquarius, you strive when you're surrounded by other people. You're a natural problem-solver and humanitarian at heart. You find enjoyment in helping others and fighting for causes dear to you.
However, you also tend to run from emotional conversations and confrontation. Although super intellectual, you can be aloof in relationships. Still, you have good intentions, and you want to transfer only positive energy to your past lovers. Although Adele is being sort of tongue-in-cheek when she says, "Send my love to your new lover," she acknowledges that what happened was necessary. Her message is a generous one, and the Aquarius appreciates what she has to say.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20): "Slow Dancing In A Burning Room" by John Mayer
As a Pisces, you're loyal. You tend to put too much trust in people, which can backfire on you. But you're generous, selfless, intuitive and incredibly caring. You're also known to be the most tolerant sign in the zodiac, and your open-mindedness helps you in love.
The Pisces is a hyper-emotional creature. You tend to turn inward and get down on yourself too often. When you're struggling, you'd rather be alone than around people. The best song to help carry your woes is this slow, steamy and gloomy John Mayer tune. Despite it's gloom, it's an easy melody, and as a Pisces you indulge in it.
Aries (March 21 - April 19): "Since U Been Gone" by Kelly Clarkson
As an Aries, you're full of energy. You're a natural-born leader and extremely goal-oriented, and you sometimes take on more projects than you can handle.
You're also short-tempered and tend to act without thinking. Your drive and competitive nature leads the way, so you're relatively quick to move on after a breakup. You won't let a stupid guy affect the potential of your future, so Kelly Clarkson's hit about feeling free from her clingy ex is your go-to song.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20): "55th and 3rd" by Kenny Chesney
The Taurus lover is the most stubborn of them all. But you're also committed to the things you do and the people in your life -- your friends, family and lovers.
But your dependability doesn't translate well in romance; it makes it tough for you to get over someone you've invested so much of your time in. You crave stability and dislike sudden changes. Because you're a dweller, country music is the perfect fit for you. You're suited to this long, drawn-out song melody about chasing an ex-lover around the city.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20): "Problem" by Ariana Grande
The Gemini is the sign of communication. You're innately curious and constantly want to learn more about the world around you. You're quick on your feet and easy to adopt, and you don't let any negative vibes -- including the ones from a bad breakup -- get in the way of planning your next adventure.
Like your muse Ariana, you have your head in the clouds. You don't want any weight on your shoulders, and you see holding onto love as a problem.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22): "Thinking Of You" by Katy Perry
Cancers are fragile creatures. You need constant support and love, and you need to be needed. Because of this, you tend to get moody. Unfortunately, your lack of trust in people can also lead you to close off emotionally. The person that you end up with has to really work at opening your heart.
This Katy Perry classic will particularly resonate with a Cancer. Katy has a hard time letting go of the guy she used to spend all her time with, and so do you.
Leo (July 23 - August 22): "Run The World" by Beyoncé
People born under Leo are fun-loving, courageous people. Everything you do is driven by self-expression, and you take a lot of pride in your work and self. If people try to mess with you, they won't succeed -- you think too highly of yourself. This doesn't mean that you're not sensitive; you can often be easily offended. But you bounce back even stronger than ever, which is why a Beyonce track complements them perfectly. Also, it's your confidence that makes you such a fierce lover.
The Leo is a bad bitch who needs an equally bad-bitch jam.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22): "Ur So Gay" by Katy Perry
A Virgo lover is wildly independent. You're a natural problem-solver and have a highly analytical mind. But you tend to overanalyze things -- even ones that are out of your control. You need to learn to calm down when outside forces start getting out of hand.
A breakup will render the Virgo lost, confused and regretful. You deny your real feelings, though the truth is that you're actually quite sensitive. So for you, I chose this hilariously offensive yet punchy tune. Katy calls a straight guy gay multiple times because he broke her heart (talk about "living in denial"). And, OK, yes, I love Katy Perry.
Libra (September 23 - October 22): "White Horse" by Taylor Swift
I'm a Libra! You and I are fair, balanced, hospitable and civil. But we're also super flaky, indecisive and idealistic. We're hopeless romantics. We're the ones who picture meeting a guy on the street in the most romantic way possible, and this gets us in hot water. Because we're so friendly, we're also insecure people-pleasers. The downside of this is that we sometimes sacrifice our own happiness to satisfy others.
In relationships, we really feel the blow from heartbreak and enjoy indulging in our sadness. "White Horse" is all about suddenly capturing that Prince Charming but losing him just as quickly. Its melancholy fits perfectly with the inner workings of the Libra's mind.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21): "Before He Cheats" by Carrie Underwood
The Scorpio is temperamentally extreme. You're super possessive and jealous one minute and faithful and compassionate the next. You have this need to be in control all the time, and if you aren't, you feel threatened by the person that does have the upper hand. Your gut is your driving force in life and in love, so making the wrong choice is rare for you.
In love, you become a neurotic bitch when you don't get what you want. Like our girl Carrie in "Before He Cheats," you keyed your ex's car and broke some sh*t for not getting your way.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21): "So What" by Pink
The Sagittarius is selfless and unequivocally kind. You put the needs of your friends and lovers before your own. You're straightforward and rarely hold back the truth. You tell it like it is.
In love, you crave freedom but don't enjoy talking about your feelings. Still, your appetite for life reigns in romance, so when someone breaks up with you, you're optimistic and already looking to the future. You won't let a breakup stunt your style. You and Pink have the right attitude when it comes to moving on.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19): "All By Myself" by Celine Dion
Capricorns live by a strict code of discipline and self-responsibility. You're not the kind to take chances in life or in love. The safest option is the best option, which can make you a bit unimaginative and inhibited.
You also crave security and need constant reassurance. You're constantly proving your worth to the rest of the world. You need to work on self-love. Until they do this, you'll have a difficult time with breakups, because you're not very independent. For you, I chose this Celine Dion classic. She doesn't want to be all by herself anymore, and neither does the Capricorn.