Work husbands and wives are ALL THE RAGE these days and obviously your boyfriend is a cool mofo so obviously he has a work wife.
And that's fine with you...but sometimes you can't help but wonder, "is his work wife trying to swoop in on our relationship?!"
Well WONDER NO MORE. I've got your back.
I interviewed psychiatrist and co-author of The Modern Trophy Wife, Dr. Ayo Gathing, MD, on all of the red flags you should be looking out for when it comes to your BF's work wife. Read along and consider yourselves warned.
She's trying to chat after office hours.
Obviously, she and your bae are coworkers, so their nine-to-fives are going to be spent talking to each other.
But if she's initiating contact with him outside of those hours, that's cause for concern — especially if she's contacting him via unprofessional means, like texts or social media.
If she's regularly making an effort to contact him outside of traditional work hours, Dr. Gathing warns that this should really be "your first red flag, because it's sort of leading into a personal relationship that really doesn't involve work."
She's trying to hang after office hours.
One step worse than trying to casually chat with him outside of work is trying to actually hang out.
Obviously, Dr. Gathing explains, "people will meet up after work for like a happy hour or even have a late work meeting. I'm talking about things where they're setting up interactions that are not work related on days when they're not at work."
If she's inviting him to parties, Saturday night drinks, or any events that don't have to do with work — in places that definitely aren't offices — then you definitely have something to be concerned about.
She's critiquing your relationship.
If your boyfriend starts talking about relationship advice or insight he got from his work wife, yeah... that's not gonna fly.
"If he starts letting on to you that 'So and So — I'm going to call her 'So and So' — says we should be doing this in our relationship,' that's her inserting herself into your relationship," Dr. Gathing explains.
"She could be planting negative seeds about you and your relationship in his head, and he takes her word for it because he's trusting her to look out for his best interest."
She refuses to meet up with you two.
If she actively avoids meeting you or hanging out with you guys as a couple, it could be a sign that "she wants to keep the idea of her and him alive," says Dr. Gathing.
In many situations, the work wife and the girlfriend can actually be on great terms. The real issue arises when the work wife avoids your attempts to befriend her.
"If the work spouse says, 'no, I don't really wanna meet her,' and kind of comes up with excuses not to interact with you, that could be a sign that she's hiding something," Dr. Gathing explains.
She tries to become part of his personal life.
When you hear that work wifey has been giving your man opinions about his family or friends, or maybe she's even trying to hang out with his friends, then that's a bad sign.
"She's basically trying to work her way in to his personal life," Dr. Gathing warns.
Why is it so bad, you ask?
"She's not just a work spouse, she's actually become integrated into other areas of his life that are usually held sacred for you," Dr. Gathing says.
She asks him to help her out all the time.
Whether she's asking for a hand with work-related or personal issues, regularly insisting that she needs help from your guy is a way for her to play the "damsel in distress" card, according to Dr. Gathing.
"She's sort of changing the dynamic from being equals at work to him possibly being a caretaker for her."
Not cool, girl. NOT cool. And it's time you laid down the GIRLFRIEND LAW.
Your suspicions aren't totally nuts, after all, and bae and his little office friend better get in line. Or else...